Will I Ever Learn?

Just last week, I wrote about how much God touched me and gifted me with exceeded expectations.

Then this week . . . I began to feel very discouraged. I'm in a play at a local theater, and we open on Saturday. For the last five weeks, I've had this off and on throat thing going on, and it's on again. My voice is scratchy, and my role requires some singing.

My desire is to always serve God with excellence, and I've been fretting about letting Him down. Letting my director down. Letting the cast down.

Fretting. Worry. Anxiety. Discouragement.

Things I know I shouldn't feel. Things I know I don't have to feel. Truly . . . when will I learn?

Fortunately, I have a very patient Teacher. I'm studying Isaiah right now, and yesterday, as I sat stewing, the Lord showed me this verse in chapter 41:

Fear not for I am with you;
Be not dismayed for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
(v. 10)

Aren't those awe-inspiring words? I don't have to worry about anything. I don't have to fear. God is (and always has been) my strength.

So, today, I know that no matter what happens this weekend, God will uphold me.

Now I'd like to say I've finally learned the lesson for good, but I know my humanity will kick in every once in a while.

Perhaps it's enough that I've learned the lesson a little better for this day.

Exceeding (Unexpected) Expectations

I'm sitting in the airport in Charlotte, NC, having just finished a wonderful weekend. I visited my brother and his family, had coffee with a friend I hadn't seen in about 15 years, and had an amazing time at the She Speaks conference.

I have to admit, I came on this trip with expectations. And some of those expectations were met. I had a great time with my family. I loved reconnecting with my friend. I enjoyed the beauty of one of my favorite places on earth (it's just so wonderfully green here!).

Then came the conference. I came with certain expectations for that as well. And my original expectations were met.

I learned about marketing my speaking ministry more effectively.

I connected with other women throughout the US who have a similar calling on their heart and made friends with a couple who will probably become true friends.

I had a chance to meet with a couple of publishers about a writing project, and at least, they're interested in seeing proposals.

Yes, those expectations were met.

But then a couple of expectations I didn't even know I had were not just met. They were exceeded--amazingly so.

The Lord used a couple of presenters to truly break my heart--in a good way. I spent time (more than once) on my knees, in tears. It was a blessing beyond, well, expectations.

I recognized yet again how great God is, and how weak and inadequate I am. And the fact that He chooses to use this flawed vessel to do His will is so humbling.

I don't know what the future will bring. None of us do. But what a blessing it is to know that He knows.

To all my sisters who attended this conference, to all my sisters who've felt God's calling on their hearts to serve Him in any way . . . I pray for you. I pray your dreams will be exceeded beyond your (perhaps unexpected!) expectations.

Quiet Time Enforced (or the Value of Plane Travel!)

On Thursday, I was sitting on a plane winging its way to Charlotte, NC, truly one of my favorite places on earth. I’ve been blessed to visit this area several times, and it’s absolutely beautiful. I’m here to visit my brother and his family, and to attend a speakers’ conference.

I spent several hours sitting in my tiny coach seat. Several quiet hours.

It’s not often I have time to just sit, quietly, uninterrupted. It was kind of nice! I had time to review my “talks” I’d be giving during a couple of evaluation sessions. I had time to think. And I had time to pray.

Wednesday morning, during devotional time at work (yes, we have staff-wide devotional times weekly—at work!), one of our executive vice presidents talked about solitude and focused time just listening to the Lord’s voice.

And yet again, I was convicted.

I advocate solitude. I talk about it. I encourage others to do it. And I know—beyond doubt—that spending focused time alone with God blesses me so much. God has spoken to my heart in amazing ways when I just sit and listen. I so often walk away from these times feeling refreshed.

So why don’t I take this time every day?

I’m committed to spending time every day in God’s word, and I rarely miss reading, studying, and meditating on biblical passages. I’m usually going through at least one group Bible study. I don’t write these things to boast; I’ve learned that I easily drift from an intimate relationship with the Lord if I don’t take this time.

And I pray a lot. I talk with God about what’s going on in my life and in the lives of those I love. I praise Him for . . . just being Who He is. I ask for healing for my hurting friends and family. I ask for direction and provision.

But I don’t listen to His voice anywhere near as often as I should.

So as I sat on the plane—with all that quiet, uninterrupted time—I tried to listen. And as soon as I finished writing this, I listened again. And I felt refreshed and blessed.

Can I encourage you to make time with the Lord a priority? Will you join me in a renewed commitment to times of study, prayer, and solitude?

Let me know how you’re doing! And I pray for you!

A "Simple" Challenge

I've been going through a chronological reading of the Bible this year, and it's been interesting to see how this amazing book flows together. I've also enjoyed running into verses that have encouraged or affirmed or convicted in the past--and which do the same yet again.

One such verse is Micah 6:8. You may be familiar with it.

He has shown you, O man [or woman!], what is good;
But to do justly,
To love mercy [some translations say "kindness"],
And to walk humbly with your God.

Sometimes, after years of walking with the Lord and desiring His will and His plan, I still wonder what I should be doing for Him. Should I give more of my time, talents, and treasures? Should I volunteer at the local skilled nursing facility? Should I mentor more?

I get caught up with what I should be doing.

Then I read--again--a verse like this, and God reminds me. All He wants for me is:

• To "do justly"--follow His commandments
• To "love mercy"--be kind and merciful to others
• To "walk humbly" with Him--acknowledge that He is sovereign and give Him honor, praise, and worship

It's pretty simple--or so it seems. But really, the human side of me doesn't always want to be kind or humble.

So I'm convicted again. Am I willing to take up this "simple" challenge? I pray I am. I pray you are as well.

Joy and Sadness

It's been a week since Ruth went home to be with her Savior.

There have been moments of joy. We've received cards and letters and calls from so many people who loved and supported Ruth. Russ and I have been enveloped by arms (both literal and figurative) embracing us and letting us know that we too are loved.

There have been moments of sadness. Walking into Ruth's house for the first time since her death brought a tear to my eyes. Russ thinking of picking up the phone to call her, or leaving work and thinking he needed to visit her--then realizing he wouldn't speak to her or see her on this earth.

No matter how "prepared" you think you are--you're never fully prepared for the loss of someone you love. I've been told by several people that moments of sadness will come upon us at unexpected times and unexpected places.

We can't prepare for those either; we can just know they'll come.

Joy in the memories. Sadness in the memories that will never be.

I can't say much more than this . . . I just miss her.

Grieving with Hope

In December 1984, a young man transferred to the restaurant I worked at. I didn't think much of him, at first, but along with him came his mother.

She was a nurse, and she'd come into the restaurant before or after her shift a few times a week. I got to know her quite well. Charming. Witty. Caring.

We all really enjoyed her, and she became my friend.

She continued to be my friend, even as I began to date her son (I eventually began to think quite highly of him!). And then in April 1988, she became my mother-in-law.

Over the years, we've had our times of joy and of sorrow, times when we adored each other, times when we didn't want to be in the same room. But I've been blessed to call her my friend for almost 25 years and my "mother-in-love" for over 21 years.

If you've been reading my blog, you know my mother-in-law, Ruth, has been in ill health for several weeks. I'm blessed to write that yesterday morning at 6:30, she ended her earthly battle and was ushered into the presence of her Savior.

And even though I've lost loved ones before, Paul's words to the Thessalonians became that much more real to me. I don't have to grieve as those without hope. I have hope in the knowledge that Ruth is with Jesus and I'll see her again.

When Russ and I went to pick up Ruth's personal things yesterday, the case worker, Mary, told us how, when she'd gone to "pay her last respects," Ruth had such a look of peace on her face and even had a slight smile. In her over 20 years in long-term health, Mary had never seen such peace.

What joy, what hope it gives me to know that Ruth really is at peace . . . and maybe that slight smile was because, just as she left her earthly body, she saw Jesus, waiting for her with arms wide open.

So I'm sad at losing this woman who's been an important part of my life, but I have hope. And a lot of it!

A New Insight

I may have written this before, but don't you just love it when you read something you've read before and see something new and wonderful?

That happened last week for me. I was reading Proverbs 3, and kind of rushed through verses 5-6. I knew them by heart, so why linger? Then I read verses 7-8, and something struck me that hadn't before. Those four verses go together and provide a wonderful guide for living. In case you don't know them:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear [revere] the Lord and depart from evil.
It will be health to your flesh,
And strength to your bones.

This is what struck me anew, this guide for living (for me, at least!):

• Trust in the Lord. Look at how He's worked in your life, and remember His faithfulness.
• Don't try to figure it out yourself. His ways and thoughts really are higher than yours!
• Give everything to Him, and He'll direct you. He loves you and will always lead you and protect you.
• Don't try to be self-wise. You may not know as much as you think you do!
• Give reverent awe to God. He is sovereign and worthy of all glory, honor, and praise.
• Turn away from anything that isn't of God. Don't even give the enemy a toehold!
• Focus on Him and be spiritually healed and physically refreshed. Trust Him to give you daily strength, and He will (I speak from experience!).

I pray you spend time in God's word every day. I also pray for new insights for you as well.

Do Not Delay!

I sense a theme lately in my entries . . . lots of talk about roller coasters and complaining . . .

It's been a really, really rough season, and it continues.

I've never experienced walking alongside someone in her last stages of life, so each day is unique. The medical professionals can only "guess" at what's happening because each person ends his or her journey differently. There have been many times lately when I wonder what God's doing. What could the purpose possibly be in Ruth's struggle?

If you're new to my blog, Ruth is my mother-in-law, and she's terminally ill. For the last three months, we've watched her improve and decline, improve a bit, then decline a lot. She's very confused now, and her mind isn't functioning well. It's really hard to watch.

I feel like a small, tiny worm for saying what I'm going to say next. In light of what she's going through my "temporary affliction" is minor. But even though medication is helping my own health issues somewhat, the stress of watching Ruth struggle is exacerbating the symptoms.

It's just hard, and those of you who have been through something similar know exactly what I mean.

It's times like this when I know I need to delve deeply into the Bible and stay in constant contact with the Lord. If I don't, I risk becoming distant from Him. I know myself all too well. So I'm being diligent about my time with Him. I've been spending a lot of time in the Psalms lately, and I so appreciate how the psalmists, especially David, had no fear of crying out to God. I recently read Psalm 70, and I found myself meditating on verse 5:

But I am afflicted and needy;
Hasten to me, O God!
You are my help and my deliverer;
O LORD, do not delay.

That's exactly how I feel. This is my prayer for both Ruth and me. Hasten to me, Lord! Please, do not delay!!

Maybe you're going through something really difficult. Feel free to share my prayer.

God has Heard

I really try not to whine . . . at least not too much.

But sometimes, life really kicks me to the curb, and I can't help wondering if God really hears me. You know those days when you pray, and you realize the old cliche is really true: Your prayers don't go any higher than the ceiling.

Over the last couple of weeks, I've had more than one day like that.

I watch my mother-in-law decline physically and mentally, and I pray for her suffering to end. But it doesn't.

I wake up feeling like a huge weight is pressing me down, and I pray for supernatural energy. But I don't get it.

I hear my husband talk, seemingly still far from faith, and I pray for his heart to soften. But nothing changes.

And so I whine a bit. I wonder, does God really hear me? And then, because I try to continue any Bible study or reading even when I don't feel like it, God reminds me: He really does hear me. He's just working in ways I can't see.

He also reminds me of His past faithfulness to me. It's times like this when I have to look back on what He's done and see the purpose in everything that's happened in my life.

I still watch Ruth with sadness. I still have daily fatigue and pain. I still grieve for Russ's lack of faith. That's my human side. But I just have to believe, although I don't see the purpose today, a day will come when I'll better understand today's suffering and frustration.

I'll leave you with some verses from Psalm 55. These touched my heart this week. I hope they'll touch yours too.

Come and hear, all who fear God,
And I will tell of what He has done for my soul.
I cried to Him with my mouth,
And He was extolled with my tongue.
If I regard wickedness in my heart,
The Lord will not hear;
But certainly God has heard;
He has given heed to the voice of my prayer.
Blessed be God, Who has not turned away my prayer
Nor His lovingkindness from me.
(16-20)

Gratitude

I'm really, really blessed. Really.

Although, on the surface, it doesn't necessarily look that way.

As I've mentioned in past entries, things have been tough, and it looks like the next several weeks (months?) are going to be just as tough. My mother-in-law's health continues to slowly decline, and only the Lord knows the number of her days. The roller coaster continues to take us up and down and around those emotional curves.

I've felt more pain and weariness lately, and I've had to take a step out of a few areas of ministry, which has been really hard for me.

Yes, it's been hard, but I'm really, really blessed.

Just this morning, I was reminded of how blessed I am with wonderful, caring, sincerely loving friends. I know they're praying for me. They share my burdens.

What a blessing!

And then I found out that my fight against the insurance company for a medication is over . . . and I won!!

What a blessing!

Oh, and I'm going to be an honorary grandma again!!

So even with the slow loss of Ruth, even with ongoing health problems, even with the uncertainty of just living, I'm blessed.

Thank You, Lord, for each splash of joy You bring to my life. Thank You for blessings that far outweigh the difficulties. You are so good. Thank You!

Our Refuge and Our Strength

David knew a lot about the need for a refuge and for strength. He wrote quite a few psalms about this very topic. And each time, rather than finding a refuge in something--or someone--here on earth, he found his refuge in the Lord. Rather than deriving his strength from himself, he found his strength in the Lord.

One of my favorite psalms tells me that "God is our refuge and our strength, a present help in trouble." (46:1)

I've been needing a refuge lately. My roller-coaster of a life continues, and more moments than I can say have had me crying out to God and seeking shelter in His arms. I've found great comfort in knowing His arms are ready to envelop me with His love.

His refuge offers a shelter from the storm.

I've written before that there are days when I just don't think I can do it on my own, and on those days, I reach out my hand and ask for a supernatural strength. This verse affirms that I will receive that strength--even if it's just enough to get through one day at a time.

His strength gives the ability to walk through the storm.

I don't know about you, but this reminder--from a well-known and well-loved verse--was exactly what I needed this morning.

I pray it encourages you as well.

A Roller Coaster Ride

I love roller coasters as much as the next person. The anticipation as you go up, up, up . . . and the drop of the stomach--which is a good thing!--as you plunge at the speed of light . . . or so it seems. (For those of you who hate roller coasters, I apologize!) The curves, the loop-di-loops.

It's a rush of adrenaline and a touch of fear all wrapped up together. But all but the most diehard eventually want to get off the ride.

Sometimes life feels like a roller coaster, but one without an end.

The last few weeks have been that way for me.

My ride started a few weeks ago with a severe virus that kicked the stuffing out of me. Just as I was beginning to recover from that, Ruth, my mother-in-law, who's battling cancer, experienced some pretty scary complications. The stress from my illness and her declining health triggered a flare-up of a chronic condition I struggle with.

Over the last 12 days, we've watched Ruth decline and improve and decline and improve. It's been painful. We're still not sure what the prognosis is, but it appears the cancer may be winning.

Up and down. Lefts and rights.

The roller coaster continues, and for now, there's no end to the ride in sight.

Hope in God's Word

I rise before the dawning of the morning,
And I cry for help;
I hope in Your word.
Psalm 119:147

Mornings can be tough for many of us. I know they can be tough for me sometimes.

A sleepless night.

Anticipation of a stressful day at work.

Do you often wake up, pause for a moment, and then just turn over and pull the covers over your head? Well, maybe not literally, but certainly figuratively?

What do you do when you wake up with fear, with worry, with concerns?

The Bible tells us. We can hope in God's word. But here's the catch: You need to know His word.

When you know what God says about protecting you and providing for you, you can have hope. When you know verses that say that Jesus has overcome the world, you can have hope. When you know that the Bible says that God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble, you can have hope.

The more you know of God and His word, the more you can have confidence that, when you wake in need of help, you can have hope in God's word.

From Hope: Devotions for Finding Hope in Every Situation (c) 2007 Sauni Rinehart.

I Love the Lord!!

What a day this has been. I mentioned a blog or two ago that I'm going through Beth Moore's Esther study, and it's been pretty wonderful.

This morning's study was an eye-opener: She compared us with Haman.

Yes! Haman!!

If you know the story, it's not a compliment!!

As I continued meditating on her God-inspired words, I realized that a weakness of mine--pride--could make me into a Haman. Gasp!! Some of those words cut straight to my heart.

Over the last year or so, the Holy Spirit has really been working on my heart regarding pride, and this morning, I prayed fervently that the Lord would continue to refine me in this area. As I was praying about a particular struggle, the Spirit revealed something to me that was a total breakthrough. It was so amazing, it made me cry.

I know I'll sometimes fail, the flesh will sometimes prevail.

But what an amazing answer to something I've struggled with and prayer for . . . for so long! God is good, and I just love Him!!

Disappointed, but Not Discouraged

I regularly listen to a podcast produced by In Touch Ministries, and recently something Charles Stanley said really stuck in my mind.

He said that it's okay to be disappointed, but it's not okay to be discouraged.

In the last couple of weeks, I experienced first hand what this means . . . twice.

I won't bore you with the details, but two times, something I really desired and had prayed for didn't happen the way I wanted. And I was really disappointed. I would rather have had things turn out differently, but because I know God is in loving control and is completely trustworthy, I didn't become discouraged.

Many times in the Bible, we're told to take courage. In fact, that's really what "encourage" means: to give or instill courage. And thus the opposite--discourage--is to take or lose courage. So when I feel discouraged, I'm losing courage in the love God has for me. I'm failing to trust Him.

And that's sin.

Being disappointed is human. We can't help feeling a bit sad when something goes against our desire or plan. But we can keep from being discouraged by going to the Lord, expressing our disappointment, and thanking Him for His faithfulness.

If we trust Him, really trust Him, we can handle any disappointment with the assurance that, if we didn't get what we wanted, it was for our best.

A Warrior Princess

I usually don't include quotes from other writers or speakers in my blog, but I'm going through Beth Moore's study on Esther with women from my church. I've read the book of Esther many times, and I often include parts of her story when I speak.

I love how God reveals new things, though (that's why I never tire of reading and rereading His word), and I just had to share with you what I learned in today's lesson.

It's week four, day two if you're familiar with this study.

Mordecai has learned of the king's edict, and he's torn his clothes and put on sackcloth. He's mourning the coming annihilation of his people. Esther is told about his wailing, but doesn't know why. She sends the king's eunuch to give him clothes to wear--she doesn't (yet) take the time to find out what's wrong. She just wants to solve the problem. (Sound familiar?)

Beth writes, "If people around us helped us avoid [our problems], we'd quit learning how to deal with difficulty. We'd forget how to cope and we'd crush under the least inconvenience . . . strength comes from muscle, and muscle develops with a workout. This is as true spiritually as physically. What we don't use, we lose."

I've written in previous blogs that we are works in progress; we're being refined as gold. We may not like it, but we know that the end result is worth the pain and suffering.

"As painful as the process may be," Beth concludes, "that which shatters our superficiality also shatters the fetters of our fragility . . . We are not the fragile flowers we've considered ourselves to be. We, like Esther, are the warrior princesses of God."

You are not only a beloved daughter of our Father, you are a strong "warrior princess" being refined and grown into the woman God has designed you to be!

Be Still

I've committed Psalm 46:1-2b to memory. It's one of my many favorites, and I love knowing that God is my refuge and strength.

I forgot, though, that another verse I quote often is also from this psalm. Verse 10a says "Be still and know that I am God" (NKJV).

The New American Standard says to "cease striving," and I love what it says in the notes of my study Bible: cease striving means to "let go" or "relax."

I can let go of my worries. I can be still in the moment. I can cease striving to do it on my own. And I can relax knowing that God really is my refuge and strength. He is my very present help in times of trouble and I don't need to fear.

In these uncertain times--a new administration, a stock market that continues its roller coaster ride, lost jobs and homes--it's comforting to know that I can trust Him.

Lord, help me to be still knowing You are God. You are in loving control of all things, and I need not fear. Amen

Brand New Year. Same Old Stuff.

Isn't it the truth?

For some reason, every new year, I somehow think things will change.

Sometimes they do. We plan to exercise more, and guess what? We actually pull the old bike out of the cobwebs in the corner of the garage. We say we're going to eat better, and we add a salad a day to our diet.

But often they don't . . .

Here it is, the 9th day of 2009, and I'm having a really bad day healthwise. I was feeling pretty well for a few weeks, thanks to a new medication that seems to be helping to manage my symptoms . . . But yesterday, I had a migraine (haven't had one in a while), and it triggered a flare up.

Part of me asked, "Why?"

Why didn't it "stick" this time? Why can't I just feel better . . . all the time.

It's interesting how God works. Our theme for the year at work is "Trust."

And I was just telling the Lord that I do trust Him. I trust Him with everything, since it's all His anyway. And if I trust Him with everything, I have to trust Him with my health too. He is worthy of that trust.

And just two days ago, I read a devotional that talked about how we can look at God's fingerprints on our lives to see His faithfulness. And He has been amazingly faithful to me.

So, even though it's a brand new year, and even though I'm faced with some of the same old stuff, once thing remains the same.

The Lord God will never change. His grace and mercy and love will never change. Never.

Happy New Year!

A Christmas Prayer

Dear Lord Jesus,

Words are so inadequate.

I want to thank You for Your willingness to come to earth in human form, to feel hunger and weariness and pain, to experience rejection and betrayal.

I want to thank You for Your willingness to feel the lash of false accusations, to suffer the thorns, to endure the whip, to bear the nails.

I want to thank You for Your willingness to be the sacrifice to cover my sin.

Most of all, I want to thank You for Your willingness to be my living Savior, to walk alongside me through the valleys and atop the mountains of my journey.

I want to thank You for all of this, Lord Jesus.

But, again, words just seem unable to express what's in my heart this Christmas Day.

So one last thank You: Thank You for Your willingness to know what's in my heart and know what words just can't convey.

I love you, Lord Jesus. My Savior, my Redeemer, my gift at Christmas.

Amen

Silent Night

It's the time of year when I'm surrounded with music of the season. I love it! No matter where I go--the grocery store, the mall, my local Target--songs play that speak of Christ's birth. At no other time of the year do we hear such words in public places.

But this morning as Christmas music played in the background, I realized how often the music can become "white noise" and I fail to really think about the words.

My very favorite Christmas song of all is Silent Night. I love to sing it, love to listen to it.

Over the last several days, I've been blessed to sing this song at the end of some speaking engagements. I asked the ladies at the events to sing along, and the last time (mainly because I'm fighting a cold and my throat was pretty sore) I stopped singing and just listened to them sing in lovely harmony.

For the first time in a while, I just listened.

The final verse proclaims:

Silent night, holy night!
Son of God, love's pure light.
Radiant beams from Thy holy face,
With the dawn of redeeming grace.
Jesus Lord at Thy birth.
Jesus Lord at Thy birth.

Jesus is the Son of God! He is love's pure light! He is our Redeemer!!

Next time you're listening to your favorite Christmas songs, stop. Really listen to the words that sometimes just become . . . well, just words.

Remember again why Jesus came: To give us peace and joy and, most importantly, redemption!

In God We Trust?

It's on our currency, and we read that motto from our forefathers regularly (those of us, at least, who still use cash!). But right now, the tangible piece of our economy seems to mock us.

I spoke at a lunch recently, and this lovely older lady came to me afterward. She's in a valley right now, and she's struggling. I asked her if she'd seen a counselor, and with tears in her eyes, she said she couldn't afford it. She'd retired last year, and--you guessed it--her retirement portfolio has taken a huge hit . . .

She's not sure how she's going to make it. And there was an underlying question . . . why? She followed Christ. She loved Him and believed that He loved her, too. But she questioned why this was happening.

My heart broke for her.

And frankly, I didn't have a good answer for her.

We live in perilous times, in many ways, unprecedented. My generation and those following have never lived through times such as these.

And beyond that, it seems like so many are suffering--health, marriages, family. Struggles everywhere.

It's hard. Really hard.

I find myself asking the same "why?" And the answer? Because somehow, some way, God is using even this time of uncertainty. Because the bottom line is, do I trust Him? Do I believe He loves me? Do I believe He's in control, even now?

I know this answer. He's proven Himself faithful to me time and time again. And I have to believe He'll always remain faithful.

Yes, even in times like these, maybe especially in times like these, in God we can trust.

God's Little Heartwarmers

If you're a true Christ-follower, you believe in answered prayer. I do. I've seen it. I've seen God answer big prayers--like miraculous healings--and small things--like the perfect parking place.

He often answers with a resounding "yes!" And we rejoice.

Sometimes, He answers with a clear "no." And we may at first grieve, but eventually we often see the purpose behind the "no."

Then of course, there's when He says "wait," which we usually don't like very much.

While I've seen answered prayer (all of the above), it sometimes seems like God is rather silent. It sometimes seems like a lot of time goes by between clearly answered prayers.

God is good, though, and He rewards our patience. Sometimes He, like the loving Father He is, just warms our hearts, through and through.

Over the last few days, I've experienced some of God's "little heartwarmers." He's clearly answered four prayers--two rather big and two rather small. This time, He chose to answer "yes" to each of them. And can I just say, I feel very blessed . . . and very humbled.

I still have many prayers to which He still seems to be saying "no" or "wait." That's okay, though, because He's reminded me again that He will answer.

Keep praying, my friend. Keep listening for His "yes" or His "no" . . . or just keep waiting. He will answer.

God's Good Work in Me

I don't know about you, but I feel far from complete. There are days when I wonder how God can have any patience with me as I come to him (again) with the same prayer (again). I've really been struggling with my health, and I wake up every morning praying for strength for the day. And every day, He answers that prayer.

But some days, I can feel sorry for myself. On better days, I remember that everything I experience is part of God's good work in my life.

My favorite book in the Bible (I may have mentioned this before!) is Philippians. There is so much richness in this short epistle, so many truths. And some of my life verses are contained in it.

Paul starts this letter, as he does many of his others, with a greeting for grace and peace for his recipients. He thanks God for them. Then in verses 4-6, he writes, ". . . always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy, for your fellowship of the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."

We children of God are works in progress. He is perfecting us, completing us. I've written before about being refined, and I know that trials, pain, suffering, difficulties all are part of that process. And if I want to be complete in Christ, I have to be willing to experience whatever God wills.

So this morning, as I prayed for strength (again), I could do so with that same confidence that Paul had, knowing that God is doing His good work in me and that I will one day be completed, either when He chooses to take me home or when Christ returns.

Thank You, Lord God, for Your refining work. Thank You for Your perfecting work. I pray that You'll fill our hearts with confidence of Your good work. Help us to remember that, as long as we live in Your will, everything we experience will lead us closer to being completed in Jesus Christ.

A Refuge in the Storm

Psalm 62:1-9 is all about God's being our salvation and refuge.

Verses 7 and 8 say:

In God is my salvation and my glory;
The rock of my strength,
And my refuge, is in God.

Trust in Him at all times, you people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us.

I really see this world running down. We live in an unprecedented time. Banks are failing in a way not seen since the "Great Depression." Insurance companies are closing. Companies are declaring bankruptcy. The stock market is dipping and rising like a roller coaster. The housing market continues to fall.

More alarmingly, "celebrity preachers" are "tickling the hears" of hundreds of thousands rather than revealing full truth.

It's a messed up world . . .

Yet, those of us who know God, who have a personal relationship with Jesus, can find refuge from the storm. We can be assured that, no matter what happens, that God is our rock, our stronghold . . . our refuge.

Thank You, Lord God, that You provide refuge for Your children. You are the calm in the midst of the storm. You are the wing under which we can hide. It's easy to get caught up in today's chaos. Help us to live wisely, but always looking to You in faith. Let us not make rash decisions out of fear or worry. Rather, let us follow Your will, knowing that You are in loving control. Be glorified. Amen.

It Breaks My Heart . . .

I've been reading the book of Mark, and I'm in the middle of chapter 14. It's the chapter that includes Jesus's betrayal by Judas. It's very sobering to read how one of His own betrayed Him for pieces of silver.

But you know what?

That's not the saddest part to me. What really breaks my heart is verse 50. The New International Version says it this way. After Judas betrayed Jesus and He was arrested, "Then everyone deserted him and fled."

Everyone.

We assume it was just the other eleven disciples, but maybe it included some of the other followers. In any case, that "everyone" was, at the very least, those eleven who had been following Jesus for three years. They'd broken bread with Him. They'd probably camped out under the stars by His side. They'd seen Him heal the broken. They'd watched Him raise the dead. They knew He was the Christ. And just moments before, Peter said he'd die with Jesus.

And yet, everyone deserted Him. Everyone.

It just breaks my heart.

And I think it broke Jesus's heart too. It think it caused more pain than the beatings He'd receive and from the nails that would be pounded in His flesh.

When I read this verse, I'm convicted of something: I never want to cause Jesus that kind of pain again. I deserted Him once. I spent 20 years fleeing from Him. And I broke His heart, just as those eleven did.

And I never want to do that again.

The Lord Holds My Hand

Psalm 37:23 & 24 say,

The steps of man are established by the Lord;
And He delights in his way.
When he falls, he shall not be hurled headlong;
Because the Lord is the One who holds his hand.

I love these verses!

First, they say that God established the steps of man (and woman). I talk a lot about the confidence I have that God really has a plan for each of His children. Verse 23 tells me that God does have a plan, but also that He delights in the steps His children take.

Second, and even closer to my heart, God holds my hand. I often say, when I'm just not sure I can even get out of bed, "Jesus, please hold my hand a little more tightly today." I just came out of a really rough week. Physically, I wasn't doing well. The only way I got through each day was knowing that Jesus was holding my hand.

When I read these verses this morning, it was like God said to me, "My beloved daughter, you see? I hold your hand. You'll never fall too far or too hard. You can trust Me."

What a blessing it is to know that God delights in watching me walk according to His plan. And what a even greater blessing it is to know that He's holding my hand as I take each step.

Are you struggling? Are you unsure? Do you need the touch of your Lord? Just reach out your hand and say, "Jesus, please hold my hand just a little more tightly today." And feel the squeeze of His hand as it covers yours.

The Lord . . . My Strength

I was reading Psalm 28 a couple of days ago, and verse 7 really touched my heart. I know I've read it before . . . probably several times. But this day, it just spoke to me.

"The Lord is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped;
Therefore my heart exults,
And with my song I shall thank Him."

I've been practicing a song with our church's choir called, "He Made a Difference." And the first lines say, "If it wasn't for the Lord, where would I be?"

Everytime I've sung those lines, I resonate with that truth. Where would I be? I'd be . . . well, I probably wouldn't be here. It's only because of the absolute trust I have in His love and faithfulness that I exist. Really.

I know He'll give me the daily strength I need.

I know He'll shield me from those things that would destroy me.

I know He'll help me.

So, as I sing songs of worship and praise, as I sing songs that draw others' hearts and minds to Him, my heart does exult. I can - and do - thank him with my song.

Do you know that God is your shield? Your strength? Let your heart exult in Him. Thank Him today with your song.

The Gospel of Peace

In Ephesians 6:11, the apostle Paul urged the church at Ephesus to “put on the whole armor of God” in order to combat the enemy. He wrote of putting on truth and righteousness, faith and the word of God.

In the middle of these pieces of “armor,” Paul wrote that we are to “shod [our] feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace.” (12)

Shod our feet.

The other pieces of “armor” provide protection: a breastplate, a shield, a sword. What do shoes have to do with protection? It’s what those shoes represent: the gospel of peace. The gospel is the good news of Christ’s death and resurrection. It’s the assurance that when we give our lives to Jesus, we are saved from our sins. We can look forward to eternity with Jesus.

When we walk in that knowledge, when our feet are shod with that gospel, then everywhere we go, we are grounded in that truth. It’s the very foundation upon which we walk.

A soldier wouldn’t get very far if his shoes weren’t sturdy and strong, able to keep out the elements, able to traverse rough ground. We too wouldn’t get very far if we weren’t standing on God’s promises of salvation and of peace.

Beauty Everywhere

Genesis 1:1 tells us that God created heavens and earth. Then for another two chapters, the rest of creation is described.

Do you ever stop to think about how beautiful creation is? And what a gift it is? I mean, God could have stopped with a tree or two, maybe a flower. A handful of animals, perhaps that all looked alike.

But He didn't. He created this magnificent, diverse world. Certainly for His own pleasure, but also for our pleasure, for our delight.

My husband and I spent a week in the Carolinas, probably my favorite place on earth (and I've been privileged to travel to some pretty amazing places). Although they're experiencing a drought, it was so green and lush and, yes, beautiful. Then we returned to California, and one clear day last week, I viewed the majesty of our local mountains. How awe-inspiring they are!

Today, I looked out my kitchen window to see the flowers in our backyard, some gold, some pink, some red. A rainbow just for me.

I see character and wisdom in the face of my husband. I see purity and innocence in the faces of my great-nephews. I even look at the faces of my adorable Labs, and I see beauty there as well.

We have mountains and deserts and oceans. We have lakes and rivers and cliffs overlooking amazing canyons. We have people of all colors and sizes. Throughout our nation, throughout our world, there's beauty everywhere.

And to think that God created all of this . . . just for us.

What is Man?

Psalm 144:3 asks, "O Lord, what is man, that Thou dost take knowledge of Him? Or the son of man, that Thou dost think of him?"

I ask as well: Lord, who am I that You love me as You do? Who am that You choose to use me? You certainly don't need me to do your work, yet You invite me to participate. What an amazing blessing!

Do you ever stop and think that the Lord of the universe, the Creator of all things thinks of you? The Sovereign of heaven and earth chooses to use you to grow His kingdom. Doesn't that amaze you?

God would do just fine without us--in fact, He would do much better! Yet, He loves us enough to give us joy as we watch Him work through us.

Amazing.

Planting Seeds

Don't you love how God speaks through a verse you've read before?

I recently started a study in the book of Mark. I've read this book before, but I've never really studied it chapter by chapter, verse by verse.

And today, I saw something new.

In Mark 4:26-30, Jesus tells a parable of a man planting seeds. He plants them, and then goes to bed. While he sleeps, the plants have begun to grow, but "how, he himself does not know." (NASB)

As I've mentioned in other entries, my husband, Russ, doesn't share my faith, and there are times when I wonder if he'll ever come to know the Lord. God is faithful, though, and when I face these times, He'll often bring verses to my heart. Like these.

When I read these verses today, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart. This is what I wrote in my journal:

"Jesus described the kingdom of God 'like a man who casts seeks upon the soil.' He leaves the seeds, and plants spring up, but he doesn't know how. This tells me that we are to plant the seeds. God alone knows how the seeds will grow. This also reminds me that I need to continue to plant the seeds with Russ and wait for God to grow them. I can't save Russ just as I can't grow the seeds."

For all of you who are in spiritually mismatched, spiritually single, or unequally yoked (whichever phrase works for you) marriages, I hope this encourages you as it did me.

Continue to live as the godly wife you've been created to be, and plant those seeds. God will grow the plants. In His time.

Joy in Suffering

That doesn't sound like a very encouraging title, does it? But I'm learning it's very true.

If we want to experience joy, we must experience suffering. What? you ask.

It's true. I mean, how can I truly understand heat if I haven't experienced cold? How can I truly enjoy sweet if I haven't tasted sour? How can I exult in joy if I haven't felt the despair that comes with suffering?

The few days that I feel relatively well are better and brighter because of the days that I feel unwell. It's true.

But even more, the joy from suffering comes when I see how God uses my suffering to encourage others.

True joy comes from seeing how God provides encouragement and hope to others through me. And I wouldn't be able to encourage victims of abuse or a woman struggling with infertility or the spiritually single if I hadn't gone through the suffering.

So yes, there is joy in the suffering because I know what God can do through the suffering.

Thank you, Lord, for the reminder that all suffering can bring joy as we see how You work through it. Thank You for letting me experience the valleys so I can revel in the mountaintops.

Consider What Great Things

I've been reading in 1 Samuel the last several days, and I came across a verse that I'm sure I've read before . . . but it really touched my heart this time.

1 Samuel 12: 24 says, "Only fear the Lord and serve Him in truth with all your heart; for consider what great things He has done for you."

These words are so true. I should desire to serve the Lord with all my heart because He has done great and amazing things for me.

When I wrote my book, The Best Laid Plans, I talked a lot about hindsight, looking back over what God's done in our lives. In fact, I call it the "gift" of hindsight. And it truly is a gift. God has protected me, strengthened me, blessed me beyond expectation. He's carried me through the hard times, and even when I wanted nothing to do with Him, He remained by my side.

So I really should desire to reverence Him (in case you don't know, that's what "fear" means in that verse) and serve Him.

And most importantly, I need to remember His goodness to me, to consider those "great things."

Time Flies . . .

My maternal grandmother used to talk about time flying on wings of eagles (or something like that), and I actually think it flies on the wings of hummingbirds. Have you ever seen how rapidly hummingbirds' wings move? So quickly, they're just a blur.

That's how time seems to be flying for me. I try to add to this blog at least every other week, and I realized that over a MONTH had flown by since my last entry.

So . . . since then, my husband and I celebrated our 20th anniversary with a wonderful ten-day cruise. I've now fallen in love with Costa Rica and Jamaica . . .

Seeing amazing illustrations of God's creativity was such a blessing. From the desert island of Aruba to the lush rain forest of Costa Rica to the incredible power of Dun's River Falls in Jamaica . . . I wonder how anyone can look at the diverse beauty of this world and not believe in a Divine Designer.

And to think, He designed all of this just for our pleasure. What an amazing God we serve!!

Speaking of divine designs, I'm preparing to speak at a retreat this weekend, appropriately titled "Divine Design." We're ALL divine designs . . . and we're adored by our Designer. Think about that for a moment. You are divinely designed. You are a masterpiece. You. Pretty cool, huh?

My Rock. My Strength. My Refuge.

How often do you wake up and you just don't think you can do it? You just can't make it through another day?

I do. More often than I'd like to say.

I have many mornings when I really, truly want to pull the covers back over my head and hibernate. And it seems those mornings come more and more frequently these days. Sometimes it's because of pain. Sometimes it's because of fatigue. And sometimes, to be honest, it's just because . . .

I remember during my twenty-year rebellion from the Lord, when I had those days (which were a lot less frequent than they are now), I'd fall into a depression. Or sometimes I'd just get mad. Some days, I felt hopeless, without purpose. I look back at those days with a great deal of sadness because I was just lost . . .

Now, when I have those days, like I did last week. I do have hope. And I have even more hope when God includes passages like Psalm 62:5-8 in my daily quiet time.

Look at these words. Really look at them.

Psalm 62
5 My soul, wait silently for God alone,
For my expectation from Him.
6 He only is my rock and my salvation;
He is my defense;I shall not be moved.
7 In God is my salvation and my glory;
The rock of my strength, And my refuge is in God.
8 Trust in Him at all times, you people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us

Aren't they great? I know my God is with me. He truly is my rock, my strength, my refuge . . . .

And He's yours, too.

Love is Patient

Over the last several months, my church has been challenging us to memorize scripture. We've memorized the names of the books of the Bible. We've memorized the Beatitudes. This month, we're memorizing the Lord's Prayer.

Last month, it was 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a. You know, love is patient, love is kind . . . Even many non-believers know these verses. I've known them for a long time, but having to really memorize them word-for-word made me think about them more deeply.

I don't think it's an accident that the first definition of love is "patient." I think it's a characteristic of love that's hard for many of us, especially with those with whom we're closest.

Don't we tend to take the ones we love the most for granted? Somehow, it seems since they'll always be there, we don't have to have the patience with them that we do with others. I know I'm guilty of that.

It seems like Russ can push my buttons faster than anyone else in the world, and I can sometimes be short-tempered with him. Those little annoyances that I might just brush off with someone else can sometimes push me over the edge.

I don't want to be that way . . . but sometimes I am.

Do you find yourself doing the same thing? Being impatient with your greatest earthly loves?

Remember that the first on the list is "love is patient" . . . and I'll try to remember too!

Giving Up Control

Whoa . . . just typing the title of this entry kind of made my stomach clench. I like control. I like knowing that I'm in charge of my life . . .

OK. Now I have to laugh because I'm realizing more and more how little control I really have.

I've written previously that I suffer from some chronic health problems, and I've been feeling pretty miserable the last several weeks. I have no control there.

Despite my ongoing prayers and daily attempts to live a Christ-like life, my husband doesn't seem to be closer to a relationship with the Lord. I have no control there.

Even though I try to "promote" my ministry as much as possible, it's growing more slowly than I'd hoped. I have no control there.

Hmmmm. A pattern perhaps?

Guess what? I don't HAVE control. My future, my health, my calling . . . my life . . . everything is in God's control. Now, I can try to snatch control back and try to do things my own way. But you know something? He does things so much better than I can!

When I trust Him, when I wait for His timing, when I walk through doors He's opened, when I let go of my CONTROL (!), I can rest confidently that everything will work out for my ultimate good, just like Paul says in Romans 8:28.

And you know something else? There's a freedom that comes from giving up control. Wow . . . what a concept!

Our Faithful God

I've been thinking a lot about God's overwhelming faithfulness. Over the last several months, I've been studying some of the prophets in the Old Testament, and it's clear that God has had a plan all along, and He is faithful to that plan.

I look back over my own life, and I see that same faithfulness.

Today, I came across a verse that affirmed this truth yet again. Psalm 33:4 says, "For the word of the Lord is upright, and all His work is done in faithfulness."

As I read His word and meditate on His promises, I know that He has been and is and always will be faithful to His children. I can trust Him and His word.

If the trials of your day seem to be overpowering you, remember that the Omnipotent One, the All-powerful God, is faithfully leading and guiding you. Seek His hand. Seek His plan. And see His faithfulness.

God's Ways are Good

I love how God uses things we've read or seen dozens of times to affirm once again . . .

This morning, I was reading Genesis 50, and I came across a verse I've read many times. In fact, I've referred to it often when I speak or write. After Jacob died, Joseph's brothers were fearful that he'd finally take revenge on them. But he, with a sincere and loving heart--and with trust in his God--was able to say, ". . . you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good." (verse 20, NKJV)

Over the last week or so, I've heard so many stories of pain being experienced by people I know and love. Loved ones dying. Cancer invading. Finances strangling. Marriages crumbling. Health declining. Children rebelling.

These are happening to people who love and trust God.

Sometimes it gets overwhelming. Really overwhelming.

But then I read this familiar verse, and I'm reminded that God's plan is higher than my own, and even when man or the enemy of this world attempts to cause evil, God will use it for His good. He's certainly done so in my life.

I don't know where you are and what you're experiencing right now. But remember that our sovereign God is greater and more powerful than anything. And He loves you.

Coming Forth as Gold

A new year is, for many of us, a time to resolve to change or to grow. In my last posting, rather than resolving to do anything new or different, I reflected on how God blessed me in 2007.

Today, I spent some time reflecting on some of the things that, at the time, didn’t seem much like blessings. Job is one of those people in the Bible with whom I often resonate. While I haven’t experienced a fraction of the suffering he did, I do relate with his cries to God. But even when he didn’t “get” what God was doing or why, he was able to trust that God was totally and lovingly in control. And he knew that the end result would be worth the suffering. Job wrote, “But He knows the way I take; When He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold.” (23:10, NASB)

You’re probably aware that the refining process of gold requires heat—and lots of it. If gold could feel, it would probably find the process quite painful.

If I desire to come forth as gold, I should expect pain. When I think of my daily physical pain this way and, more importantly, when I look at how God has used my pain this past year, I can sincerely thank Him for that pain.

Seriously.

My inability to handle my daily pain on my own has made me lean on Jesus. When I speak, I say that I frequently have to ask for God’s strength to get me through the day. I literally lift my hand and say, “Jesus, would You hold my hand just a little more tightly today.” I say those words, and I see heads nod. How God works through my pain encourages others.

And maybe, just maybe, I’m coming forth as gold. Still tarnished, but gold all the same.

2008?!

I know everyone says it, but time really is flying . . . how can it already be five days from the beginning of a new year?

Well, whether I want to believe it or not, another year looms around the corner, and as I do every year, I reflect on 2007:

• Russ and I enjoyed a vacation in Hawaii!
• My second great-nephew, Joseph Thomas, joined our family in August.
• My mom and step-dad have been in town since early November, so I've been able to spend a lot of time with them.
• My job continues to give me opportunities to work with ministries.
• God continues to open doors to speak, and He keeps affirming His ministry.
• He gave me an unexpected gift: the recording of my CD.
• He also continues to bless through the ups and downs of my health journey.

It's been a year of blessings and trials, difficulties and joy. Yet through it all, God continues to be faithful.

May this coming year bring you blessings and joy. And may you always remember His faithfulness.

A Bittersweet Season

That may not be the expected title of an entry posted on December 3. You're used to seeing words like joy and peace and grace, and indeed these words come to mind as I look forward to Christmas. I really do love this season, and yes, my house is completely decorated . . . as is my desk at work. I'm a sucker for all the fun and festivities and lights and music.

But this is also a bittersweet season.

I think of this culture we live in and how the true meaning of Christmas has been diluted to the point that we have an entire generation that doesn't know that we celebrate Jesus' birth. So many buy the gifts and decorate the tree and hang the lights, but they haven't received the greatest gift of all: God's grace and forgiveness.

And for those of us who have friends and family who haven't received that gift, there's a mixture of sadness with the joy.

I pray this season, as I have in years past, that those who are nearest and dearest to us will, this Christmas, come to know the Christ of Christmas. Won't you join me in prayer?

Still Thankful

In my last entry, I shared some things for which I'm grateful.

On this day before Thanksgiving, I want to continue the theme, but from a slightly different angle.

I'm blessed to work at a Christian organization, and each Wednesday, we have a company-wide chapel time, complete with worship and a devotional. This morning, our president spoke about thankfulness, and he said the Bible mentions four "dimensions of thankfulness":

• A Heart of Thanksgiving
• A Voice of Thanksgiving
• A Song of Thanksgiving
• A Sacrifice of Thanksgiving

This last one really touched my heart. I'm studying the book of Malachi right now, and I read in this morning's study that the Israelites made a vow to offer unblemished sacrifices. I had to ask myself if I give "unblemished sacrifices"? Do I give my firstfruits to God in all areas of my life?

And then this idea of a sacrifice of Thanksgiving . . .

Do I thank God before I do anything else? Do I praise and thank Him in good times and in bad? Is my first prayer one of gratitude?

Sometimes, maybe, but certainly not constant, as it should be.

So, now, this day before Thanksgiving, I choose to offer "unblemished sacrifices" and give my firstfruit of gratitude. And I pray this will be my heart every day.

Have a blessed and THANKFUL holiday!!

With a Grateful Heart

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. One of the main reasons is that there's no real hype surrounding it (of course, that also means that it seems to be somewhat overlooked). It's just a time to reflect on what God has done for us, and every year, I try to do just that.

James 1:17 tells us that every good and perfect gift comes from our Lord. I really believe He delights in blessing us. I picture His smiling when we find pleasure in His gifts.

But I'm often convicted that I just don't thank Him enough . . . although I realize that because of His grace and mercy, I can NEVER thank Him enough.

So as I look to this upcoming holiday, I want to thank my Lord:

• For being my Lord and Savior - You saw worth in this unworthy girl.
• For Russ, my dear, supportive husband - He has allowed me to follow God's call on my heart.
• For family - They may be far away in body, but are always as close as a prayer.
• For friends - Through tears and laughter, they continue to bless my heart.
• For ECCU - I realize how blessed I am to work for a Christian organization.
• For Triple-E Ministries - The privilege of seeing God work in the women to whom I speak is humbling.

There's so much to be grateful for. Yes, I have areas I struggle with. No, my life isn't perfect. But I am blessed . . . and so grateful.

If you haven't lately, take a moment to thank God for His blessings.

And Happy Thanksgiving!

Girlfriends!

God did an amazing thing when He created girlfriends!! There's nothing quite like them!!

I am so very blessed! God has given me such wonderful girlfriends, and I'm just so grateful. This week, I've had a chance to talk with or get together with some of my very favorites, each of whom impacts my life in a unique way.

There's my prayer warrior friend who, when she says she's praying, I KNOW she's praying!

There's my "life is meant to be fun, even when it doesn't seem to be" friend with whom I share all the ins and outs of my life, and we laugh together.

There's my "I know exactly how you're feeling" friend, who's on a similar journey.

There's my "you can do it" friend, who encourages me to be more than I think I can be.

I honestly don't know what I'd do without these women of faith. Their very presence in my life is tangible evidence of God's love and faithfulness to me.

Girlfriends? If I don't tell you enough, I love each of you and I'm grateful for you.

If you have some special girlfriends that have blessed you, don't forget to tell them!!

It's Hard to be Humble

There used to be a saying, "It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am." It was usually said tongue-in-cheek, but every time I heard someone say it, I saw a glimmer of truth.

Humility is hard, but not because we're so great. Something in our sin-filled nature likes to make us think that we're better than we are. We're smarter than others, prettier than others, more talented than others. And sometimes that might be true. But it's more often not.

A friend of mine at work forwarded a "thought for the day" about humility, and it captured my heart. The verse was 1 Peter 5:6, "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you in due time."

The unnamed author of the thought wrote that "we often worry about our position and status, hoping we'll get proper recognition for what we do." Isn't that the truth? We somehow think if we receive the praise of man (or woman), we'll please God more.

True humility means that we're willing to do anything for anyone at any time in order to bring glory to God. We'll clean toilets or speak on platforms. It doesn't matter what as long as we're doing God's will to His glory.

I want to be that humble. I want to be willing to do whatever He asks. I pray that I might be that humble. How about you?

Another Precious Boy

Bright blue eyes. Rosy cheeks. A little frown. A sweet little cry. A smile that takes my breath away.

My sweet little great-nephew, Joey.

Just over two years ago, I saw the same eyes, cheeks, frown, smile, but that was from Joey's big brother, CJ.

This weekend, I was with Joey, my eldest niece's second son.

If you've read previous blogs, you know that I don't have any children of my own, but God has blessed me so much with my nieces and nephews. They are all really good people whom I believe God will use to do amazing things.

And two of those amazing things are those precious great-nephews of mine.

I can't tell you how it feels to love those little guys. It's wonderful to watch them grow and change (even if it's only in pictures).

Can I say a word of encouragement to you who don't have children? Find a child to love. Maybe you have nieces and nephews of your own? Or you can help in your children's ministry?

Just find a way to see bright eyes and rosy cheeks and heartwarming smiles.

He Knows Our Needs

I have a little "blessing box" on my desk, and as I thumbed through the verses, I came across Matthew 6:8. The Kings James Bible says, "Your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask Him."

Now, I don't usually read the King James Bible (although I do like the New King James Version), but every once in a while, I like to read the poetry that comes from the old language. My Father knoweth my needs . . . I like how that flows.

But no matter what the version, this verse is a wonderful reminder that God knows my needs. I don't even have to ask Him; He just knows them.

There's something that catches my heart in this verse, though. This verse speaks to needs, not wants. My husband reminds me that we only need air, food, water, and shelter. Everything else is icing.

But isn't it great that God wants to provide for our needs, but He also wants to give us blessings beyond needs? Matthew 7:7-12 speaks of our being able to ask God for anything (remembering that we need to ask within His will), and He will provide, and verse 12 reminds us that our "Father in heaven [will] give good things to those who ask Him!"

What a wonderful thing to know that we are His children. We are His beloved sons and daughters! And like a loving Father, He'll take care of our needs and bless us beyond our expectations!!

God's "Balance Sheet"

I'm preparing to speak at a retreat in October, and our theme is "A Future and a Hope." We'll be focusing on one of my favorite topics: God's perfect plan.

I've been in a bit of a valley lately (past entries touch on this), and it's been God's perfect timing that I'm revisiting His promise for a future and a hope. And I want to take a moment to encourage you, if you, too, are in a valley.

I know you're familiar with Romans 8:28, and you may be asking how what you're going through can possibly work together for good.

Not long ago, a speaker at chapel time at work (yes, I work at a credit union where we have chapel time!) spoke about "God's balance sheet." The concept is that when we're in a dark time, we can look back at what God has done. And we usually find that His balance sheet is weighted firmly in His favor.

Try this: Look back over your life (I call this the gift of hindsight), and see how God has protected you or provide for you or blessed you. Look at those times when it could only have been His hand guiding you. Remember how faithful He's been.

That's what I've been doing lately. Although this moment in time seems so hard, I look back at my life's journey, and I see so clearly how He's worked in my life.

He really is faithful. Everything that's happened in my life is part of His master plan--His loving plan. And His balance sheet is fully in the black.

Peace-Not as the World Gives

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you;
not as the world gives do I give to you.
Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

John 14:27

The world offers peace—on its terms.

Watch television or read the latest magazine. The world would tell you that peace comes from driving the best car or wearing the trendiest clothes. Peace comes from having a great sex life or a lucrative career. Peace comes from fame or fortune.

That’s what the world would tell you. But the world would be wrong.

I tried for years to find the world’s peace. I was college-educated, happily married, well-employed. We owned our home, our cars, our stuff. We enjoyed our vacations and partied with friends.

I had it all, or so the world would say. But I had nothing, really. I was miserable.

It wasn’t until I recommitted my life to the Lord that I realized that Jesus was right: He gives a peace that the world can’t begin to compete with. His peace is all-encompassing, and it saturates down to your very soul. It’s a peace that illuminates the peace of the world for what it really is: shallow, empty, sad.

Have you bought into the world’s definition of peace? And do you feel a hole in your heart and soul? Talk to Jesus now about His peace. Have confidence that you don’t have to be troubled; He will give you peace.

Hope through Adversity

But I will hope continually,
And will praise You yet more and more.
Psalm 71:14

Many of the psalms are written as cries from the heart.

In the verses that precede this, the psalmist was crying out for help from God. His enemies were at his back, looking to hurt him. But even in the midst of his fear, he could still hope in God. And not only could he hope in God, but he could also praise Him.

It's one thing to have hope in difficult times. Even when things seem at their worst, we can always have hope that God will get us through, that He will provide protection, that He will be the ultimate victor.

It's an entirely different thing to praise God in the most difficult times.

Have you ever thought about praising God even when the enemies are chasing after you? Have you raised your voice in praise when you're hurting and tired and confused?

It's not always easy, but it can make even the hardest times more bearable. When we're praising God, when we're worshipping Him for the awesome God that he is, sometimes the burdens are lighter, the pain is less severs, and the struggles are easier to handle.

Have hope in God at all times, but more importantly, praise Him . . . at all times.

Living Joyfully

The Bible tells us that God desires that His children experience joy. The book of Psalms is full of passages that speak of God’s heart for His children’s joy. Psalm 16:11 tells us that:

You [God] will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
(emphasis mine)

We who know God experience the greatest joy possible because we are able to stand in the presence of God Himself, and as the psalmist wrote, in His “presence is fullness of joy.” Our hearts can’t be truly joyful apart from God.

I often think of God watching over His children and beaming when He sees us experiencing joy. Just as I believe that God’s heart breaks when He sees us in pain, I believe that His heart fills with joy at our joy. I liken it to a parent or grandparent that has given a special gift to a child who is dearly loved. The joy seen in a child’s face is pure and unencumbered, and that joy often creates joy. Think about it: At Christmas, what is one of the most common pictures we see? A bright-eyed, rosy-cheeked child gazing at a decorated tree or at a favorite gift, joy radiating from her face.

I don’t have children of my own, but I have witnessed my many nieces and nephews experience the joy of receiving a wished-for gift, and the joy I’ve seen on their faces is priceless. My heart fills with their joy. I believe that’s what God feels when He sees our joy.

Jesus Promises Peace

These things I have spoken to you,
that in Me you may have peace.
In the world you will have tribulation;
but be of good cheer,
I have overcome the world.
John 16:33

There was a time when I really thought the enemy was winning the battle—not just the battle, but the war.

Nothing was going right. My husband and I were trying to have a baby, and nothing. We’d gone to a fertility specialist, and we’d been told that nothing was clinically wrong with either of us. We just had to keep trying. And try we did.

But still nothing.

During this several-year journey, I’d recommitted my life to Jesus, and I knew He was on my side of the battle. I believed that our side would win.

But still nothing.

I was finally diagnosed with likely infertility (that so-called specialist hadn’t dug deeply enough), and the battle changed: I wasn’t fighting to get pregnant, I was fighting for peace.

And that’s when I really felt Jesus on my side. I knew that He promised peace in the midst of tribulation. And I finally remembered that last part of John 16:33. I could be of good cheer because Jesus really has overcome the world.

What battles are you fighting? Are you fighting them alone? Or have you asked Jesus to join you in the battle? More importantly, have you asked Him to give you peace no matter what the outcome? Talk to Him now. Ask Him to reassure you that He really is the victor.

A Reason for Hope

I've been in a study of Hosea with a group of ladies at work, and I love the reminders of how faithful God is in spite of our failings.

This week's study ended with a verse that I want to commit to memory:

But sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence. (1 Peter 3:15)

The hope I have in me . . .

Where does my hope come from? It comes from the confidence I have that the Lord God is working in me and through me. It comes from the confidence I have that I'm saved from my sins. It comes from the confidence I have that Jesus walks alongside me every day. And it comes from the confidence I have that one day I'll be in heaven with my Lord.

It's been said that if someone gave you a cure for cancer, wouldn't you share it with everyone you know? How much more should we share the good news of salvation and eternity with Christ?

We do, indeed, have a reason for our hope: Our hope is in our Lord.

Abundant Life

I have a little "treasure box" on my desk, and the verse I see today is John 10:10. This verse tells me that Jesus came to give me life. But it says more than just life. It says life "more abundantly." Dictionary.com says that "abundantly" means "well supplied" or "richly supplied."

I like that last definition . . . richly supplied.

It reminds me of another verse. You may be familiar with it. Philippians 4:19 tells me that my God "shall supply all [my] need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus."

Notice that it doesn't say all my wants will be supplied. No, God promises that all my needs will be supplied. That's abundant life.

We sometimes get caught up in what society says we "need." We need a certain car. We need a certain home. We need certain clothes.

Guess what? We don't need anything except food, water, something to clothe our bodies (and not what's trendy), and a roof over our heads. That's it.

Oh, and one other need: We need a relationship with our Lord God.

Everything else is just icing.

I'm beginning to learn that abundant life isn't about the stuff. It's about experiencing God. It's about coming to know Him more. It's about seeing how He chooses to bless me.

That's abundant life.

A Cycle of Faithfulness

I usually find myself studying the gospels or Paul's epistles, and rarely am I immersed in the books of history or prophecy. I guess I find them a little . . . dry or harder to understand.

I'm trying to break out of my comfort zone, though, and over the last year or so, I've studied Joshua and Judges, and now I'm in a study in Hosea.

Know what I've learned? Throughout recorded history, there's been a cycle of God's faithfulness to His children. In Judges, there is story after story of how the people of Isreal turned away from God, faced difficulties, and then cried out to the very God they'd rejected. And God faithfully cared for them. Over and over.

And now in Hosea, I see the same thing: God's people, those whom He loves abundantly, turn away from Him, reject Him, turn to other idols . . . and yet, even as God rightfully disciplines their disobedience, words of hope shine through.

Come, and let us return to the Lord;
For He has torn, but He will heal us;
He has stricken, but He will bind us up [the NASB says that He will "bandage" us].
After two days He will revive us;
On the third day He will raise us up,
That we may live in His sight.
(Hosea 6:1-3)

I use a study Bible that tells me the concept of "on the third day" refers to a "quickness of healing."

We don't deserve God's love or healing or reconciliation. I know I don't.

But how grateful I am that God is faithful. How grateful I am that He loves me with a love I can't begin to understand.

How grateful I am . . .

Trust and Obey

Okay . . .

I have to be really honest with you. I've been feeling a bit discouraged lately. I mean, I know that God is in control and that He has a plan and that He loves me. I know this.

But it's hard when the thing that is most dear to my heart--my husband's salvation--is so OUT of my control. And the thing that I struggle with most--my health--is equally out of my control.

My husband seems no closer to coming to faith (and in fact, this weekend we had a few talks, and he seems farther than ever). And after a few weeks of feeling relatively well, I've taken several steps back with my health. So, I question why (seems like a recurring theme in these blog postings, doesn't it?).

Then this morning as I drove into work, I was listening to a podcast from Dr. Charles Stanley. He was talking about fully trusting God. Even though I don't audibly hear God's voice, He does speak to me, and He spoke to me this morning:

Do you really trust Me?

Do you really want to do whatever I ask of you?

Even if it's not what you want yourself?

I'd love to tell you that I responded with a resounding , "YES, Lord!"

But no . . . I have to say that I struggle with this. If I truly trust Him, then I have to accept that it may be His plan that Russ not come to faith for a very long time . . . If I truly trust Him, then I have to accept that I may never be fully well . . .

And am I willing to do that? I pray I am.

I pray that I am . . .

God's Amazing Grace

I'm in between group Bible studies, so along with my regular time of personal study, I've been reviewing a wonderful Kay Arthur study, Lord, I Need Grace to Make It that I did several years ago.

In the introduction, Kay writes, "Amazing grace . . . Grace that enables you to make it . . . no matter your need, no matter the circumstance, no matter the pull of the flesh or its weaknesses. The Lord is there with His grace, grace sufficient to make it."

I have to be honest with you . . . I've been feeling a bit discouraged lately. My health has taken a step back, and I'm bone-weary. I'm burdened for my husband as he traverses a valley or two--and as he seems far from faith. I'm disheartened by a silence I feel regarding the Lord's plan for my ministry. Sometimes I just have to wonder what He's doing . . . and when He'll do it.

I question why . . . why can't I feel better?

Why can't Russ find Jesus and thus find peace?

Why can't I clearly see God's direction?

And then I have to stop and remember how God has blessed me.

I have to stop and remember His overwhelming grace and mercy--and a love that flows over me even when I far from deserve it.

Indeed . . .

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me . .

Giving to Others

As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another,

as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.

1 Peter 4:10

We have an amazing God. Truly an amazing God.

The fact that He's sovereign and omnipotent and omniscient is great enough in itself. He could do everything Himself. He could fulfill His plan without any "help" from us.

But He doesn't work that way. He chooses to use us to fulfill His plan--frail, flawed, imperfect us--to do His will.

And that's amazing.

What a gift that is. God uses us and the gifts with which He's blessed us to serve Him and to serve others. Each of us has a gift that we're called to steward--to manage well. And when we use those gifts to serve others, we bring glory and honor to Him.

If you love to organize, use your gift to help in your church office or at a local ministry.

If you love to entertain, use your gift to open your home to the people in your neighbor.

If you love to encourage others, use your gift to lend an ear or a shoulder to others.

Be part of God's plan. Use your gift, and give to others and serve God.

Great Peace

Great peace have those who love Your law,

And nothing causes them to stumble.

Psalm 119: 165

The Psalmist writes that those who love the law of the Lord will have great peace. Love the law of the Lord. What does that mean?

In the Old Testament, the law of the Lord was what is called the Pentateuch, the five books written by Moses. Anyone who wanted to know God would know those books intimately.

Today, we have the entire Bible available to us to know God. The more we know His word, the more we know Him. We've been given a tremendous gift. Loving the law of the Lord, the Bible, means that we want to spend time in it, reading it, studying it, internalizing it. Loving the law of the Lord means we want to "meditate on it day and night." (Psalm 1:2b)

But what about the second part of Psalm 119:165? What does it mean that those who love the law of the Lord won't stumble?

I believe it means that when we know the law of the Lord, when we know His words, we have a way to combat the lies of the enemy. We know we're in a battle with Satan, (Ephesians 6:12) and the only way to really respond to his lies is to know the words of the Lord. When he attacks, we can use God's own words to catch him in his lies. Jesus Himself was able to counter the lies of the enemy when He was being tempted in the desert. (Matthew 4:1-11)

If we know and love the law of the Lord, we can have peace in a growing relationship with God, and we can have confidence that our knowing God's word will keep us from stumbling.

How much do you love the law of the Lord? Do you meditate on it day and night? Do you desire to spend time with Him, getting to know Him through His word? Make a commitment with God right now to learn to love His law.

Happy Mother's Day

This is such a . . . not difficult . . . I guess, it's a poignant day. I love celebrating moms, and I'm so grateful for my own. I was able to talk with her for a while this evening, and I really love her. She's the best!

But there's a tiny bit of sadness in my heart that I don't celebrate this day as a mom myself. I've truly accepted God's plan for my life--a plan of childlessness. I really have. I'm able to do things that I probably wouldn't have been able to do had I had children.

I have health issues that have limited my capacity, and had I had children, I probably wouldn't be able to work full time AND teach part time AND speak part time. I see how God uses me through my work and ministries, and I recognize that I have time to do things I might not otherwise be able to do.

I spoke once and the lovely lady who introduced me said that some women have the gift of children. Others have the gift of time. And that's the gift I've been given.

So, even though there's that tiny bit of sadness in my heart, I know how very blessed I am. I have wonderful nieces and nephews. And now, I have a sweet great nephew (and I just learned, another on the way!).

Most of all, I have the assurance that God is using me in ways I don't always see.

I pray for each of you moms. You are blessed. I pray you know this.

Enjoy your children . . . and your grandchildren. And I pray that you thank our Lord for the gifts of your children.

The Lord is Peace

Now may the Lord of peace Himself
give you peace always in every way.
The Lord be with you all.
2 Thessalonians 3:13

The Lord doesn't just give peace. He is peace. Peace has been defined as state of tranquility and serenity. As you think of that definition, do you picture God? Do you think of Him as tranquil or serene? Or do you think of Him as the great disciplinarian, standing somewhere in heaven ready to rain down wrath and judgment?

The Bible makes it clear that God will judge and, like a loving father, He does correct us when we're wrong.

But He's also peace itself.

What does that mean? It means that when we're in His presence, when we sit at the feet of the throne of our Lord, we can experience His peace washing over us like a warm summer rain.

Think about God being peace itself. What does that mean to you? How might that change how you picture God? How might that change how you spend time with Him? Do you want God's peace?

All you have to do is ask.

Ask Him now. Ask Him to fill you with His peace. Ask Him to fill you with Himself.

Hear My Heart

This is a love letter to any sister who may be thinking about marrying someone who doesn't share her faith.

My dear sister in Christ,

Over the last ten days, I've celebrated our Lord's victory over death, and I've celebrated my nineteenth wedding anniversary. On Easter Sunday, I sat with my brothers and sisters in Christ, and I lifted my voice with theirs in praise and worship. It was truly a joyful experience. Then this last weekend, my husband and I spent a long weekend enjoying each other. It too was truly a joyful experience.

But a part of me was very, very sad. Sadness in the midst of such joy? Oh, yes.

Part of the sadness on Easter was because, even in the midst of the crowd, I sat alone. My husband wasn't with me. It was the fourteenth Easter that I celebrated alone. But that's not what made me the saddest.

What makes me the saddest, what makes me want to weep--and indeed tears fill my eyes as I write this--is that Russ cannot share the joy of knowing Jesus. He doesn't know the resurrected Savior. And it breaks my heart. There's little that's more painful than knowing that the love of your life doesn't have the assurance of salvation.

So, here's the purpose of this letter. Please listen to me. Please hear my heart.

Don't open yourself up to this sadness, this pain. The Bible is clear that we're not to be unequally yoked. Don't think you can save him. You can't.

Pray for him. Persistently and consistently pray. But don't marry him.

Be a Christ-like example to him. But don't risk the heartbreak of sitting alone each Easter.

Please, my sister. Hear my heart.

Happy Easter!

He is risen . . . He is risen indeed!

Last night, many of the members of my church solemnly reflected upon our Lord Jesus' sacrificial death. A video was played that showed clips from The Passion of the Christ, and I was reminded yet again that Jesus didn't just die on that cross, but He also experienced torture and suffering beyond anything most of us will ever experience.

It's Saturday, and I look forward to tomorrow's celebrations.

I wonder sometimes what Saturday was like for His followers. They'd either witnessed firsthand--or had heard from others--the brutal treatment of their Lord, their Teacher. They'd
watched Him die--or at the very least, experienced the darkened sky and felt the earthquake.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

He was supposed to be their conquering King. He was supposed to lead them to victory.

Now He was lifeless in a tomb. Oh, how bleak Saturday must have been. They didn't know what we do.

Sunday was coming!

As you celebrate the marvelous reality of Jesus' resurrection tomorrow, I pray that you will spend a moment or two in silent gratitude for what Jesus did for us. Reflect on His amazing love for us.

For . . .

He is risen . . . He is risen indeed!

A Picture of Faith

There are times when our faith can be shaken.

An illness threatens our life.

A loved one is lost.

A catastrophe hits.

It's sometimes hard to remember that God is infinitely faithful even when it doesn't seem to be so. Sometimes, what helps me to remember is to look back at how He's taken me through difficult times. Another thing that helps me is to recall how others have been able to make it through the difficult times with their faith intact.

A picture of faith that helps to sustain my faith is one of my paternal grandmother. She was a woman who walked her faith every day of her life, even through the difficult times. She loved her Lord, and she looked forward to the day when she could spend eternity with Him.

My maternal grandfather was the same. After he passed away, we found notes in his office of how he'd prayed for people every day of his life. That life wasn't perfect. He faced the challenge of having a child who chose a very different path; that choice caused my grandfather considerable pain. But, in spite of the hard times, my grandpa's faith never wavered.

Do you have a picture of faith? Something you can look to when your own faith is challenged or weakened?

If you don't, find one. Read about someone from the past or the present who has demonstrated faith under fire. Learn from her. Be inspired.

Take a picture and keep it close.

Take Time to be Silent

The last three weeks have been quite hectic. Working full time, teaching part time, and speaking part time . . . well, it can sometimes be overwhelming. And unfortunately, when I'm at my busiest, I can let some of the most important things in my life slip to the back burner. Like my time with the Lord.

I know beyond doubt that spending time each and every day is crucial if I'm going to keep my focus where it needs to be: on the Lord. I really believe this. But I also know that it's easy to get caught up in all the other stuff.

Can you relate?

What I've discovered is that when I'm the busiest is when I need to make time to spend quietly in the presence of the Lord. I often speak about the discipline of solitude, and when I feel overwhelmed by all of my appointments and "to dos," I know I need that time of quiet even more.

So, as soon as I finish this post, I'm going to take some time to be quiet with my Lord. I'm going to read His word to me, and I'm going to talk to Him.

And may I encourage you: If you haven't done so, make an appointment with God. Right now. He's waiting to spend time with you. Right now.