Biblical Marriage (Ephesians 5:31-33)

Today's scripture: Ephesians 5:31-33

Marriage is far from a sacred covenant these days. Many people enter the “state of holy matrimony” with the thought that if it doesn’t work out, then they’ll just end marriage A and move on to marriage B. In fact, I read a while ago about “starter marriages.” Kind of like a starter home.

This was never, ever God’s intent. Marriage is a covenant relationship, a “usually formal, solemn, and binding agreement.” It is not meant to be broken. When a man and a woman join together, they become “one flesh.” One flesh. A former pastor of mine used to illustrate this by gluing two pieces of paper together. Yes, you could separate the two, but not without seriously damaging each page.

Even more importantly, marriage on earth represents Christ’s relationship with His church. Nothing can separate those of us who follow Him from our Lord and Savior (Romans 8:37-39).

And just as nothing can separate Christ from His bride, nothing should separate a married couple. The Bible only gives two “reasons” for divorce: infidelity (Matthew 5:32; 19:9) or if a believer’s unbelieving spouse chooses to leave the marriage (1 Corinthians 7:11-15). And this is just my opinion, but I would add an implied third reason: domestic abuse. Physical, emotional, and mental abuse doesn’t equate with loving one’s spouse as Christ loves His church.

We Christians need to get back to God’s word regarding marriage, with husbands loving their wives and wives respecting (and loving too!) their husbands.

Words for Husbands (Ephesians 5:25-30)

Today's scripture: Ephesians 5:25-30

Yesterday, I resurrected my comments about wives being subject to husband. I wrote, “… in a healthy marriage, husbands and wives want the best for each other.”

Paul takes this a step further … for husbands, at least. Husbands are commanded to love their wives “as Christ also loved the church.”

Christ experienced overwhelming pain and suffering for His church. He faced betrayal, ridicule, and denial. He was rejected. He was brutally killed. For His church.

And that’s how husbands are to love their wives.

Further, they are to love their wives as they love themselves. They are to “nourish and cherish” their wives.

That means husbands are to “promote the growth of,” and I think that means providing for their wives physically, but also to encourage them emotionally and spiritually. Husbands are also to “feel or show affection for” their wives and to “keep or cultivate with care and affection.”

Husbands are not to belittle their wives or verbally abuse them. And they certainly are not to physically abuse them.

Rather, they are to be, as Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13, kind and patient, not jealous or arrogant (vv. 4-7).

Or as he wrote to the church in Ephesus: to love as Jesus does.

Words for Wives (Ephesians 5:22-24)

Today's scripture: Ephesians 5:22-24

A few years ago, I meditated on 1 Peter for this devotional. And when I got to 1 Peter 3:1-6, I wrote the following (and since today’s verses deal with the same, I’m going to use these words again):

I almost want to skip today’s verses because someone’s going to take issue with what I’m going to say. I can guarantee it. But if I’m going to go through 1 Peter verse by verse, I need to meditate on every verse, even those that are uncomfortable for me or for others.

So here we go.

Submission—biblical submission—has quite a negative rap these days. I believe it’s not as bad as people make it out to be. A few years ago, I wrote Bible study for women in unequally yoked marriages, and I addressed this:

“Submissive: Being willing to be subject to something
Did you catch that? To submit is an issue of willingness. I read recently that a wife-to-husband relationship is similar to a vice president-to-president relationship. Certainly, a vice president is able to do as much (or perhaps more) than the president. They work together, often make decisions together. However, he willingly submits to the authority of the president because there needs to be one leader. In the same way, we as wives contribute and have a voice, but there does have to be a final authority. Submission does not mean we’re to accept bullying or abuse." (Excerpted from You’re Not Alone © 2010 Sauni Rinehart)

I believe there does need to be one leader in a marriage, one final decision maker. But I also believe in a healthy marriage, husbands and wives want the best for each other. So they’ll cooperate. They’ll discuss. They’ll compromise. So submission isn’t so difficult.

You may disagree, but I challenge you. If you’re in a Christian marriage, pray for God to work in your heart. Pray for that “imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit.”

Not a doormat. Not a whipping post. Rather, a woman of God who desires to be precious in the sight of her God.

Lifting Our Voices (Ephesians 5:18-21)

Today's scripture: Ephesians 5:18-21

I have no problem with a glass of wine here and there—I don’t think there’s anything in the Bible that says it’s wrong—but God’s word is very clear about one thing: We’re not to get drunk. Instead, we should be filled with the Holy Spirit and His fruit: love, joy, patience, self-control and so on (Galatians 5:22-23).

And who needs to drink when we can praise God with songs and psalms? I love music. I love everything about it. I love harmonies and melodies. I love well-written, meaningful lyrics. I often feel closest to the Lord when I’m singing words of praise, and I feel joy when I’m “making melody with [my] heart to the Lord …” More joy than I feel at pretty much any other time.

When I sing words like, “Holy is the Lord God Almighty” or “Lord, I Believe in You” or "Trust His Heart" or "Amazing Grace,” I am filled with … well, feelings I just can’t fully explain. Gratitude. Humility. Awe.

And I’m so thankful for what God has done in my life. His faithfulness. His grace and mercy. His love.

Yep. Who needs wine when we can lift our voices with song?

The Days Are Evil ... (Ephesians 5:15-16)

Today's scripture: Ephesians 5:15-16

When Paul wrote, “… the days are evil …” he could well have been written about our world today. No question.

So just as the Christians in Ephesus were cautioned, we should also take Paul’s words to heart. We too should be “careful how [we] walk.” We must be wise, not foolish.

We are to make “most of [our] time.” What might that mean? For me, that means I should be focused on things of the Lord. Always. I should be concerned with serving Him and others. I should love as Jesus loves. I should strive to use our time in kingdom-building efforts. Sharing the gospel. Encouraging others in faith. Strengthening our own faith through study of God’s word.

And finally, we’re to “understand what the will of the Lord is.” And we know God’s will through prayer, through His word, and—sometimes—through godly counsel from friends and family.

Yes, we live in evil days, yet we must not allow the evil of this world steal our focus from what’s really important: doing God’s will and keeping our eyes on the prize—eternity with our Lord and Savior.