Love Does Not Take Into Account a Wrong Suffered (1 Cor. 13:4-7)

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NASB)

Love does not take into account a wrong suffered.

In other words, love doesn’t hold a grudge. Love doesn’t seek revenge. Rather, love forgives, even when the other person hurts us deeply.

I’m reminded of the story about the man who entered an Amish school and killed several of the children before taking his own life. The Amish community lived out this attribute of love as they went to the gunman’s house and told his wife they forgave him.

Forgiveness isn’t approval of the other person’s actions. It doesn’t condone wrongdoing. It doesn’t mean we have to let a person who wronged us into our daily lives. No. Forgiveness takes the burden of anger and bitterness off of our own shoulders. It allows us to love as Christ loved—loving the sinner without loving the sin.

Does this sound too unrealistic to be true? How can I forgive someone who’s abused me or taken what’s mine—or even killed my child?

It is possible with the strength of our Lord Jesus Christ. I know. I spent twenty years in rebellion against my God because I couldn’t—or wouldn’t—forgive those who had hurt me. My father for leaving us. Three adult men for abusing me.

My unforgiveness allowed hate and anger to fill my heart. It caused me to be miserable and pushed me into depression. Finally, when I just couldn’t take life any more, I found my way back to the arms of my heavenly Father, and with His strength, I was able to forgive. Those who hurt me never asked for my forgiveness, and my doing so didn’t say what they’d done was okay. But my being able to say “I forgive you” with a sincere heart lifted the burden that had so consumed my heart.

Holding a grudge or seeking revenge does nothing but destroy your own heart. There’s a saying that describes this well: “Anger [or unforgiveness] is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

Don’t “take into account a wrong suffered.” Rather, ask Jesus to give you the strength to forgive.

Love Is Not Provoked (1 Cor. 13:4-7)

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NASB)

Love is not provoked.

Good old Webster defines provoke as “to incite to anger” or “to stir up purposely.”

If you’ve been in a relationship for any length of time—and by relationship, I mean family or friendship or romance—you probably know that other person very well. You know what brings him joy, and you know what drives him nuts.

And you know how to push his buttons.

My husband and I have been married for over 24 years (together for almost 27), and we know each other deeply. And yes, we know how to drive each other crazy—if we choose to do so. And sad to say, we sometimes make that choice. Fortunately, the longer we’re together, the less we provoke each other. And when we do, we ask for forgiveness much more quickly.

But I have to ask myself, why do we provoke those we love? If we we're prideful, we’re only hurting ourselves. But if we provoke another, we’re hurting them.

I don’t know for sure, but I have a theory. I think it may have to do with our own feelings of low self-esteem. If we’re not terribly confident in ourselves, we may provoke others to gain a false feeling of superiority.

Which brings us back to Paul’s words to the Philippians … If we love others, we’re going to do “ … nothing … through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself” (2:3).

I hadn’t thought about it before, but today’s attribute really builds on those that precede it: If we’re patient, if we’re kind, if we’re not boastful or arrogant, then we won’t need to put others down or provoke them to anger.

We won’t need to push their buttons because we’ll be to busy esteeming them. We'll be too busy loving them.

Love Does Not Seek Its Own (1 Cor. 13:4-7)

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NASB)

Love does not seek its own.

As we’ve looked at these attributes of love, I’ve tried to keep our hearts and minds on loving how Christ loves. And Jesus definitely doesn’t seek His own—never did, never will. In fact, He was so focused on the needs of others, He gave His very life for us.

Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends” (John 15:13, NKJV).

While we may never be asked to literally die for our friends, are there ways we can serve the needs of others rather than seeking our own desires?

How do you spend your time? When you have free time, are you sitting in front of a computer, playing games or just surfing around? Do you watch hours of inane television? Is the latest issue of People magazine adorning your coffee table?

Believe me, I ask the same questions of myself.

We’ve been given the amazing gift of time, and how we use it can illustrate how we love. I’ve been very convicted—yet again—of how I spend my time. I really do want to steward my time in order to delight God. And I know He’s delighted when I serve others. When I shine the light of Jesus to a dark world.

When I sacrifice my time to mentor a young woman who's struggling, when I give up a little leisure time to volunteer at a God-serving organization, when I’m on my knees—literally or figuratively—interceding on the behalf of others … My Father is well-pleased.

No, I may not be dying a physical death, but when I seek to serve the needs of others, I sacrifice a bit of myself.

And by doing so, I love a bit more like Christ does.

Love Does Not Act Unbecomingly (1 Cor. 13:4-7)

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NASB)

Love does not act unbecomingly.

Unbecomingly. Not a word we use in our daily vocabulary, I’d wager. There’s a nice old-fashioned ring to it, so I had to check out old Webster. Unbecoming means to behave in a way “not according with the standards appropriate to one's position or condition of life.”

Both the New Living Translation and the Contemporary English Bible use the word “rude.”

We as Christians should never be rude. And that can mean a couple of things. Rudeness connotes treating others in an “offensive manner.” It also can mean being “vulgar” in speech and action.

Think about how you interact with other people. Do you enjoy telling off-color jokes or using the latest profanity? Do you delight in pointing out the failings in others?

Or do you walk away when others gossip or put people down? Do you avoid using words that are offensive?

I picture Jesus sitting with a group of society’s disreputable. I picture His loving them and showing them kindness. But I do not picture Him laughing at their infirmities or failures. I do not picture Him peppering His speech with swear words.

And as we’ve talked about since we started looking at the attributes of love, we need to strive to love as He did.

Today, watch what you say and do.  And love as Christ loves.

Love Is Not Arrogant (1 Cor. 3:4-7)

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NASB)

Love is not arrogant.

Other versions say, “love is not proud.”  Love means not thinking too highly of oneself. Paul defines this so well in Philippians 2:3-4: "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others."

Lowliness of mind doesn’t mean we’re to be doormats; rather, it means we’re to love as Christ loved, with a servant’s heart: "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross" (Phil. 2:5-8). Loving without arrogance requires an attitude of humility.

Are you able to truly rejoice in the blessings others experience? Are you willing to serve in the background if that’s what God calls you to do? Will you serve as Christ did, with a humble servant’s heart?

Then you’ll love without being arrogant.

Love Does Not Brag (1 Cor. 13:4-7)

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NASB)

Love does not brag.

True love is never about me. True love is my looking out for others, caring for others, supporting others. 

If I truly love someone, I shouldn’t be thinking about myself and what I can do. And if my thoughts aren’t on me, then I won‘t be bragging on my accomplishments. In fact, I really won’t care about what I do that’s “newsworthy.” I’ll be content to stay in the background. And when I do have the opportunity to be in the limelight, I won’t go around telling everyone.

This can be tough. Sometimes, we get excited about a God-given chance to shine. I have the privilege to perform on stage periodically. Sometimes I get to play a more principal role; sometimes I’m in the ensemble. And when I have a larger role, I have to be very careful. I can walk a very, very fine line between bragging about my part in a play and just wanting people to come out to see a talented cast of storytellers. No matter what I’m doing, the question is, will I “publicize” each and every play in the same way? Will I brag on the principal actors and be just as excited to have people come see a show when I don't have a more substantial role?

I pray this is so! Because, when I love others, I should want to boast about them. 

What about you? Are you boasting in your own accomplishments? Are you telling everyone how wonderful you are? Or are you content to stand back and let others shine? And tell everyone how wonderful they are?

Love Is Not Jealous

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NASB)

Love is not jealous.

I have to be honest here … I sometimes struggle with this one.  I see someone doing something I think I should be doing, and I’m envious. I read Facebook status updates about children or travels or amazing opportunities, and that nasty green-eyed monster raises its ugly head.

I don’t want to feel this way. I want to truly rejoice in the talents and achievements of others. I want to be genuinely happy when others have things I never will.

I really do.

Why do we feel jealous or envious? I think it has to do with contentment—or lack thereof. When I’m discontent with my own life, I’m much more likely to be envious of what others have. Conversely, when I’m content and satisfied with what I have and what I can do, I don’t even think about what others do.

It also has to do with trusting God. If I believe He’s blessed each of us according to His plan, I don’t have to be jealous because I know what I have, what I can do, what I’ve achieved is what He desires for me.

And as I write these words, I recognize yet again how very blessed I am. I have a wonderful husband, a great family, supportive friends, several vocations I enjoy. I live in a lovely home. I’m adored by my four-legged “kids.” I have terrific “children of my heart,” and I get to indulge my passion for theater.

I have no right—none whatsoever—to be jealous or envious. None. Because when I am, I’m telling God He hasn’t given me enough—when He’s given me abundantly more than I deserve.

Love Is Kind (1 Cor. 13:4-7)

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NASB)

Love is kind.

Webster’s Dictionary defines “kind” as “affectionate and loving; of a sympathetic or helpful nature; of a forbearing nature; gentle.” Further, “gentle” is defined as “free from harshness, sternness, or violence.”

When we love, we’re to be kind. We’re to sympathize when our loved one is hurting. We’re to have a servant’s heart, desiring to help him when he’s in need. We’re to be patient (see yesterday’s devotional) when he’s not behaving as we would like. 

And we’re to be gentle. Being harsh with the ones we love isn’t acceptable. And especially, there can be no hint of violence, physical or otherwise. Blowing up in anger at the ones we say we love is not love. Treating them harshly or rudely, even “jokingly” is not love. Putting them down—whether alone or with others—is not love.

Sometimes, we treat the ones we say we love worse than we do acquaintances or outright strangers. But that’s not really love. 

Today, as you interact with your family and friends, ask the Lord to give you a spirit of kindness. Be loving and affectionate. Serve them without being asked. And if anger is an issue, pray—fervently pray—that the Lord will calm your spirit so you can be kindly loving.  

 
Today and every day.

Love Is Patient (1 Cor. 13:4-7)

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NASB)

Normally, I cover several verses in one devotional. But today’s verses need a more in-depth review, so for the next 14 days, we’re going to take a closer look at Paul’s descriptions of love. I know these words are read at engagement parties, weddings, and anniversary celebrations, but I don’t know about you, as I read these words, I’m somewhat—make that I’m a lot—overwhelmed. How in the world can anyone be all that Paul described?

The only person I know who manifested every one of them was Jesus—is Jesus. So let’s look at how Jesus was love. And let’s think about how we can love just a little more like He does.

Love is patient.

Oh dear. Do we have to start here? Patience isn’t necessarily the fruit of the Spirit I manifest most often. But Jesus is indeed patient. And we can be as well when we remember that this life is temporary. What happens here is temporary. What we have is temporary. Eternity with Jesus should be our focus.

Think about it. Why are we impatient? Because we want something right now. We want that job. That relationship. That car. That house.  Now.  And when we don’t get it in our timing, according to our plan, we get a bit upset—to put it lightly.

And we can’t love—certainly not as Christ did—when we’re feeling impatient.

I think patience has a lot to do with trust. If I trust God, I can patiently wait on His timing, knowing He’ll work everything according to His plan (see Rom. 8:28). If I trust you, patience comes relatively easy because I know you have my best interests at heart. I trust my husband, so I can be patient even if things aren’t moving as quickly as I like.

Be patiently loving today, just as Christ is. Those you love may be pleasantly surprised!

A More Excellent Way (1 Cor. 12:31b-13:3)

And I show you a still more excellent way. If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
(1 Corinthians 12:31b-13:3, NASB)

We’ve been talking a lot about spiritual giftedness over the last several days. How we should use our gifts. How we’re all a part of the body of Christ’s. How each of us should work together in order to serve God. How we are to reach others with the gospel.

But our gifts aren’t worth anything if they’re not founded on love. God is love, and everything He does is founded on His great love for us. We, in turn, should use the gifts with which He’s blessed us to serve Him and others in love. The apostle John, the one whom Christ loved, writes, “My dear friends, we must love each other. Love comes from God, and when we love each other, it shows that we have been given new life. We are now God's children, and we know him” (1 John 4:7, CEV).

Serving God and using His gifts in love is a “more excellent way.” And it’s really a matter of heart and motivation. We can preach with fervency, teach with great knowledge, open our homes for fellowship, or offer mercy to the “least of these.” However, if we don’t do these with love—genuine love—for God and others, all we do “profits [us] nothing.” In other words, it won’t bring kingdom-building results.

We must, as Jesus said, “… ‘LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH.’ The second is this, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.’ There is no other commandment greater than these” (Mark 12:30-31, NASB).

Gifts to Honor God (1 Cor. 12:27-31a)

Now you are Christ’s body, and individually members of it. And God has appointed in the church, first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healings, helps, administrations, various kinds of tongues. All are not apostles, are they? All are not prophets, are they? All are not teachers, are they? All are not workers of miracles, are they? All do not have gifts of healings, do they? All do not speak with tongues, do they? All do not interpret, do they? But earnestly desire the greater gifts.
(1 Corinthians 12:27-31a, NASB)

Paul writes extensively about giftedness in this chapter, and today’s verses sum up his argument:

Each is a member of the body, not the whole body; each stands related to the body as a part of it, and all have a common relation to one another, dependence upon one another, and should have a mutual care and concern … [If not, it would] make the church a monster: all one as if the body were all ear or all eye. Some are fit for one office and employment, and some for another; and the Spirit distributes to everyone as he will. We must be content with our own rank and share, if they be lower and less than those of others. We must not be conceited of ourselves, and despise others, if we are in the higher rank and have greater gifts. Every member of the body is to preserve its own rank, and do its own office; and all are to minister to one another, and promote the good of the body in general, without envying, or despising, or neglecting, or ill-using, any one particular member. How blessed a constitution were the Christian church, if all the members did their duty! (Matthew Henry Complete Commentary of the Whole Body)

And even though all gifts are important and we shouldn’t look down on “lesser gifts” (see yesterday’s devotional), Paul “closes this chapter with an advice (as the generality read it) and a hint: An advice to covet the best gifts, charismata ta kreittona--dona potiora, præstantiora, either the most valuable in themselves or the most serviceable to others; and these are, in truth, most valuable in themselves, though men may be apt to esteem those most that will raise their fame and esteem highest. Those are truly best by which God will be most honoured and his church edified. Such gifts should be most earnestly coveted” (Matthew Henry).

A Healthy Body (1 Cor. 12:18-26)

But now God has placed the members, each one of them, in the body, just as He desired. If they were all one member, where would the body be? But now there are many members, but one body. And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; or again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” On the contrary, it is much truer that the members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary; and those members of the body which we deem less honorable, on these we bestow more abundant honor, and our less presentable members become much more presentable, whereas our more presentable members have no need of it. But God has so composed the body, giving more abundant honor to that member which lacked, so that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.
(1 Corinthians 12:18-26, NASB)

A healthy body is one whose parts work together just as God intended. Eyes, ears, hands, feet. All working together so the entire body can function as it should. When one “member” doesn’t work correctly, the rest of the “members” often have to compensate. For example, when one is blind, his or her other senses often become more acute.

And so it is with the body of Christ.

Each member works together in order for the entire body to be healthy. And if one member of the body isn't doing what he or she is called to do, often others have to do more. (Perhaps you've heard of the 80/20 rule?) Everyone is called to serve how he or she is gifted. Yet, so many don't.

Paul addresses one of the reasons in today's verses. Some members don't contribute because they think they're somehow "less" than someone else. It's the same with the human body. We don’t think much about our big toes, for example. We don’t think they’re nearly as important as our ears, for instance. And yet, if you’ve ever had a broken toe, you know how it inhibits your ability to walk well.

We sometimes think the same of our positions in the body of Christ. I’m not a preacher, you say. I just greet people once a month. But think about it: If you’re the first person someone visiting your church sees, you can have a tremendous impact on how they view your church … and even how they view Christians, in general.

We are all important in God’s eyes. We have value. Tremendous value. And if we all work together, doing exactly what God called us to do, then Christ’s body will be healthy.

And if His body is healthy, made up of healthy members doing what they’ve been called to do, then this world will be impacted positively for Christ.

So, I guess my question is: How healthy are you? Are you strong, doing what you’ve been called to do? Or do you need a checkup?