But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.
(1 Corinthians 7:8-11, NASB)
Today’s verses begin by reiterating Paul’s exhortations we looked at yesterday. Single people should stay single and serve God, but if their sexual drive is strong, they should get married.
Then he goes on to instruct married people. And he reminds his readers that these instructions come from the Lord, not from him. Please know that I'm not condemning those who have experienced the tragedy of divorce; if this is you, and you've sought God's forgiveness, then my heart breaks for you. But I truly believe with all my heart that God's heart is for healthy, strong Christian marriages. And so I write:
Married couples should stay married. Bottom line.
Paul writes that wives should not leave their husbands and that husbands should not divorce their wives. But the reverse is also true.
Marriage—Christian marriage—is a covenant relationship, with God at the center. And it is meant to be for life. Hebrews 13:4 states, “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Nothing—nothing—should break this covenant.
And yet, Christian marriages break up all the time. The Bible gives two “reasons” for divorce (and I believe implies a third). The first is infidelity (see Matthew 19:9), and the second will be addressed tomorrow. The implied third is in cases of abuse, and I believe this because the Bible is clear that wives are to be subject to their husbands, and husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves us (see Ephesians 5:22-28; Colossians 3:18-19). Abuse is not love.
The fact that Christian marriages end because of “irreconcilable differences” is one of the biggest tragedies of our age. “I just don’t love him anymore,” she says. “We’ve grown apart,” he insists.
I’m sorry (well, no I’m not sorry), but committed couples understand that love and passion ebb and flow, and they work through those times when things may not be all “roses and sunshine.”
And guess what? Couples cannot “grow” apart. Growth implies maturity and health. Instead, couples fall apart. And sadly, it’s often because they just don’t try. They aren’t willing to work during the hard times.
It’s tragic. Truly tragic.
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