Love Is Not Provoked (1 Corinthians 13:5)

Today's scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:5

Love is not provoked.

Good old Webster defines provoke as “to incite to anger” or “to stir up purposely.”

If you’ve been in a relationship for any length of time—and by relationship, I mean family or friendship or romance—you probably know that other person very well. You know what brings him joy, and you know what drives him nuts.

And you know how to push his buttons.

My husband and I have been married for just over 27 years (together for over 30), and we know each other deeply. And yes, we know how to drive each other crazy—if we choose to do so. Sad to say, we sometimes make that choice. Fortunately, the longer we’re together, the less we provoke each other. And when we do, we ask for forgiveness much more quickly.

But I have to ask myself, why do we provoke those we love? If we fail to be without pride, we’re only hurting ourselves. But if we provoke another, we’re hurting them.

I don’t know for sure, but I have a theory. I think it may have to do with our own feelings of low self-esteem. If we’re not terribly confident in ourselves, we may provoke others to gain a false feeling of superiority.

Which brings us back to Paul’s words to the Philippians … If we love others, we’re going to do “ … nothing … through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself” (2:3).

I hadn’t thought about it before, but today’s attribute really builds on those that precede it: If we’re patient, if we’re kind, if we’re not boastful or arrogant, then we won’t need to put others down or provoke them to anger.

We won’t need to push their buttons because we’ll lovingly esteem them.