Feeling Forgotten (Psalm 42:9-10)

Today's scripture: Psalm 42:9-10

Many times in my life, I have felt forgotten ... When my dad left our family. When I was abused. When I couldn't get pregnant.

While I never doubted God's existence, I doubted if He really loved me or maybe He'd forgotten me. So, I went on my meandering, twenty-year journey, trying to find my own way. And even if my enemies hadn't asked, I often did: "Where is my God?"

It wasn't until I faced a fork in the road that I realized that God never forgot me even as I turned my back to Him—over and over again. It was a brisk September evening over 25 years ago that I realized if I didn't head down the road of surrendering everything to Him, I would head down the road of self-destruction.

Since that September evening, my life has been far from the world's definition of perfect.

I still dealt with infertility, which culminated in my not having children of my own ... but the Lord hadn't forgotten me. He has blessed me with "children of my heart" who bless me so very much. 

I continue to deal with chronic pain and fatigue ... but the Lord hasn't forgotten me. He blesses me every day with strength to accomplish what He has planned for me.

I have not been forgotten even when the road seems dark; I know He'll shine His light and guide me.

A "Cast Down" Soul (Psalm 42:5)

Today's scripture: Psalm 42:5

I honestly don't know how anyone lives without the hope that comes from Jesus Christ. Waking up every morning without the confidence that a loving God is in control and has a plan for my life, for my pain ... I wouldn't want to go on living.

However, even though I believe with everything I am that God has a purpose for my pain, there are days when my soul is "cast down" and disquieted. There are days when the world and all its "junk" attempt to steal my joy and peace.

It's on those days that I draw even closer to the Lord, when I spend more time in His word and in prayer. I praise Him even more through the difficult days. On those days, I remember those verses that remind me of God's love for me (Jeremiah 31:3; John 3:16), that He has a plan for my life (Jeremiah 29:11-13), that He is always with me (Hebrews 13:5), that He will give me peace and hope (Romans 5:1-6), that He will always work even the most difficult situations for good (Romans 8:28), and that I will one day be with Him in heaven—pain-free (Revelation 21:3-4).

Yes, days will come when I the pain and weariness of this tired, decaying body will "cast down" my soul. There are days when the cares of this world will "disquiet" me.  No matter what, though, I will find my hope in God. I will praise Him as I seek His face.

I'll make it through those days ... one day at a time.

Lord, Have Mercy! (Psalm 30:6-10)

Today's scripture: Psalm 30:6-10

Many, many times, I have echoed the words of one of today's verses: "Hear, O Lord, and have mercy on me; Lord, be my helper!"

I've written over the last few days of how I'd love to be healed of my earthly afflictions. I would love to have no pain. I would love to have energy. I would love not to be so very, very weary.

Yet, at least for now, God's answer to my prayer for healing is, "Trust Me, my child. Rely on Me for your daily strength." Many mornings, I wake up and ask Jesus to hold my hand more tightly, giving me just enough strength for that day. (Chronic health issues do certainly make a person live just one day at a time!)

I do cry out for God's mercy and help, and He answers that prayer ... every time.

I'm sure I've written this before, but it bears repeating: God always, always answers our prayers when we pray for His will and purpose. In my case, His purpose seems to include my poor health. Yet, even on the most difficult days, I know I can cry out for His mercy and help, and He will answer that prayer ... with a resounding, "Yes!"

When Healing Doesn't Come (Psalm 30:1-3)

Today's scripture: Psalm 30:1-3

Those of us with chronic health issues sometimes read verses like Psalm 30:2, and wonder ...

The psalmist writes, "O Lord my God, I cried out to You, and You healed me."

Healing is what most of us want just about more than anything else. Yet, for many of us, healing hasn't happened. Then we read or hear of other's being miraculously healed, and again we wonder ...

Why them? Why not me?

I'm not certain why God chooses to heal as He does. I do believe He often miraculously heals. A tumor disappears. A damaged nerve regenerates. A grieving family hears, "Against all odds, your son (or daughter or mother or father) is going to be fine."

I also believe God uses gifted medical professionals to help in the healing process.

I also believe, however, that some of us—for reasons known only to our Lord—will experience healing only after this earthly life ends. Only in that new heaven and new earth will we feel healthy and whole. Indeed, we can be assured: "There shall be no more pain ..."

Yes, I'd certainly like to be healed of any one of the chronic health issues with which I deal. I'd like to have just one moment with no pain. I'd like not to feel this tremendous fatigue.

So, I do ask God for healing, and if not, then I pray for comfort, peace, and strength ... Just for today.

My Stronghold (Psalm 9:9-10)

Today's scripture: Psalm 9:9-10

Oh, how I love the opening words of these verses: "The Lord also will be a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble ..."

I’m not oppressed by a human enemy or tyrant, but living with chronic health issues can definitely be oppressive. Anyone who deals with the same problem knows exactly what I mean. So often, chronic ill health takes over my life. From the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep, my body reminds me of its aches and pains. I can’t ever forget.

But I’m not alone in my pain. God is with me. And it’s that confidence that allows me to make it through each day. And not just make it, but thrive.

I put my trust in my Lord because He’s been overwhelmingly faithful. He’s never left my side. He’s never forsaken me. Even when I turned my back on Him, He never left me. He’s too loving and gracious to even think of leaving His children.

I hope you’re as comforted by these words as I am. Never forget your stronghold.

The Lord Has Heard ... (Psalm 6:8-10)

Today's scripture: Psalm 6:8-10

On Monday, I wrote of how the Lord helps me through those days of groaning. Today's verses make it clear why that is so: The Lord has heard ...

When I ask for strength to get through each day, He hears me ... and He gives me strength. When I need extra energy to accomplish what's on my calendar, He hears me ... and He gives me energy. When I pray for a lifting of pain for a moment, He hears me ... and He masks the pain.

I’ve been thinking of this a lot over the last week or so. It’s a busy season: teaching four classes; in rehearsals for a play (we open tomorrow J); speaking at two events … Oh, and I've been fighting a cold. All these stressors, while good, have exacerbated my daily pain.

I know, however, God has a purpose in all He’s doing through me, so I’ve been praying—each day—for an extra measure of strength and a momentary alleviation of pain ... and He hears me.

Every day, He gives me strength for that day and even lifts the pain when I need it.

You might think, "If God removes the pain temporarily, why not do so permanently?" Good question. My only answer is because He continues to use my pain to help refine me and encourage others. My prayer is that others see how God strengthens me through the pain so they can know He'll help them as well.

Be confident in this: When you cry out to God, He hears you. He really does.

Hold My Hand More Tightly (Psalm 6:6-7)

Today's scripture: Psalm 6:6-7

I've been keeping a journal for going on 24 years now. When I start a new one (I’m currently in #42), I try to read all previous journals again. It's a wonderful way to see how God has worked in my life.

And it hasn't always been an easy life ...

When I was meditating on today's verses (neither of which seems very encouraging), I was reminded of how often I've felt "weary with my groaning ..." I've dealt with pain of one sort or another for 39 years, and I often groan with pain. Yes, I even "drench my couch with tears."

For years, I would whine and complain about how awful I felt. My journals were filled with, "I hurt, Lord ... if it's Your will, please heal me."

For reasons known only to Him, God has chosen not to heal me ... but He has worked a wonderful miracle: I rarely whine and complain any more. Yes, I still write about days when I feel more pain than usual or am extra weary. However, instead of asking "Why?," I merely ask Jesus to either hold my hand more tightly ... or carry me through.

It's human to groan when we're in pain, but I've discovered that it doesn't help anything to grumble and murmur ... No, part of truly dealing with pain is to just give it to the Lord. I may not fully understand why I live this way. I do know God has used my pain to help others, and for that, I'm grateful.

I also know that He continues to work in and through me refine me and make me more like Jesus.

And so, I may still groan, I may still weep, but I also trust my loving Lord to give me exactly what I need to get through each day.

If you're in pain today, lift your hand and say, "Jesus, will you hold my hand more tightly?"

He will.

Hope in Affliction (Psalm 119:49-50)

Today’s scripture: Psalm 119:49-50

I’m one of many who wake up in pain every day. I suffer often severe pain from a handful of chronic health conditions as well as almost-constant chronic back pain.

It would be easy for me to whine and complain (and I have to say, sometimes I do), but over the close to 40 years that I’ve suffered from chronic pain, I’ve learned something:

When I’m walking with the Lord, when I’m trusting in His will, I have hope.

Yes, you read right. I have hope, even in the midst of my daily pain. And in that hope, I find comfort.

There was a time when my faith was almost non-existent, and when I would suffer, I had no comfort through the pain. I’d take medication and try every treatment and remedy, but I was miserable, utterly miserable.

When I recommitted my life to the Lord, I was able to give the pain over to the Lord.

He didn’t take the pain away.

I still have that chronic, daily pain, but there’s a difference now.

I can ask the Lord every for strength and comfort in the midst of the pain.

And He does. He gives me strength. And He gives me comfort.

Are you in pain or are you struggling with something today? Ask God for comfort. Ask Him to hold your hand and give you strength.

Hope in the One Who Helps (Psalm 42:5)

Today’s scripture: Psalm 42:5

I don’t know about you, but there are times when I feel down, times when I feel blue. I don’t know anyone, even the most optimistic, who doesn’t have a low day every once and a while.

Feeling down, sad or even depressed every once in a while isn’t uncommon. However, there was a time in my life when I felt more than just down. In fact, I was diagnosed with clinical depression. For me, fortunately, this was just a temporary season, and I was able to get through it with medication.

But again, while my situation may be a more extreme than others—and some more extreme than mine—feeling down is common.

So, what do we do when the dark clouds hover?

We seek the face of God.

We go to Him in prayer.

We read words of comfort from His word.

And above all, we praise Him, knowing that only in Him can we find true hope. We can be confident that even when our spirits are “disquieted,” our Father God, our Abba (Greek for “daddy”) is with us.

Are you feeling down today? A bit sad? Go to your Abba and thank Him for His presence. Thank Him for the hope that can only come through Him.

Jesus ... Our Hope (1 Timothy 1:1-2)

Today’s scripture: 1 Timothy 1:1-2

“Jesus Christ, who is our hope …”

Webster’s Dictionary defines hope as a “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.” When we think of Jesus as being our “hope,” what expectation do we have? What do we believe in? What fulfillment do we desire?

I can only answer for myself, but my hope in Jesus is what makes me get out of bed each morning. If I didn’t have hope in Him, I’d simply give up.

My hope in Jesus reminds me that God has a purpose for my life. When I accepted Jesus’ gift of salvation and invited Him into my life, I became a child of the Father. And my Father loves me and has a plan for my life, one that gives me a “future and a hope” (Jer. 29:11).

I believe in God’s purpose for my life here on earth, and I live in expectation of eternity in His presence. I desire being exactly who He’s created me now, and I desire even more praising Him and serving Him forever.

Without this hope, my life would be meaningless. There would be no purpose for my pain. No value for my ministry. No significance for my relationships.

Ah, but I do have hope. I know beyond doubt that God does have a plan for my life. I believe with all my heart that His plan is good (Rom. 8:28).

And that hope gives me a reason to push back my covers and, with Jesus' holding my hand, face another day.

Rejoice in Suffering ... Really ... (Colossians 1:24)

Today's scripture: Colossians 1:24

Rejoicing in sufferings goes against society norms. How one could find anything good in pain and affliction is a complete contradiction to nonbelievers.

Yet throughout the Bible, especially the New Testament, followers of Christ are told to expect suffering. And, yes, even rejoice in it. James, the brother of Jesus, wrote that we are to "consider it all joy" when we face trials or difficult times (James 1:2). Why? Because God will use our suffering for His glory.

And again, our non-believing friends don't get it. They say, "Why would a loving God allow His children to suffer?"

The Bible says a lot about this very thing. If we continue to read the passage from James, we learn that going through trials will one day make us "perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (v. 4).

In another letter, Paul wrote that his suffering helped him to realize from where his strength really came: God Himself. He discovered that it was only in his weakness that he came to rely solely on God, and therefore, he could say with conviction, "... when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:10).

I know this is true. When I lived under my own "strength," I often failed. Yet, because of chronic health issues that keep me relatively weak, I find strength in Jesus. He's with me, walking alongside me ... often carrying me.

And so I can rejoice in my suffering because it draws me closer to my Lord God. Even more, my suffering makes me long for eternity, for the day when I can stand whole and strong before my God.

Hope Through Suffering (Philippians 1:29-30)

Today’s scripture: Philippians 1:29-30

Okay. Today’s verses aren’t the most uplifting we’ve read lately. While we are thrilled we’ve been granted the right to believe in Christ, we still would prefer not to have to suffer. However, as I’ve written many times, suffering, trials, and tribulations will come. Not only do we live in a fallen world that’s becoming more and more corrupt each day it seems, but we also are smack-dab in the middle of a spiritual battle (Eph. 6:12).

I think the key here is “for His sake.” When we suffer for Christ and for our faith, and we are able to respond with joy, God is glorified. When we can use our suffering to encourage and comfort others, they may see Christ in us (2 Cor. 1:3-7). And God often uses our suffering to draw us closer to Him as we realize our own weakness (2 Cor. 12:9-10).

The world uses suffering as a case against a loving God, but we who know Him understand that He loves us through suffering. He guides us through the trials. He carries us through the tribulations. And He holds us tightly through the pain.

As much as I’d love to be free from my daily pain, I quite honestly wouldn’t trade the lessons I’ve learned, the encouragement I’ve been blessed to offer, and the intimacy I have with my Lord for anything. Even a healthy strong body.

What trial are you facing today? What pain are you experiencing? Draw close to your Abba Father, and crawl into His lap. Let Him help you through the suffering, even if He chooses not to remove it.

Valleys and Mountaintops (Philippians 1:12-14)

Today’s scripture: Philippians 1:12-14

I in no way compare myself with the apostle Paul, but I do kind of relate to these verses. As I look back over my life, I can see how God has used the difficult times to encourage others. When I speak, I often talk about my experiences with abuse, infertility, and living with chronic pain. And invariably, several women come to me to tell me how they were encouraged by my story.

I’m sure it’s the same for you. If you’re a cancer survivor, you’re uniquely gifted to lend a shoulder to cancer patients. If you’ve lost a loved one, you can empathize with the grieving in a way that many of us could not. If you’ve prayed a wayward teen back to the arms of God, you can encourage other parents.

No, the “things that happen” to us aren’t always pleasant or joyful or peaceful. We will walk through valleys. But God will—if we let Him—use even the most painful times for good (Romans 8:28). Or as I wrote in my book, The Best Laid Plans:

… many times we can’t see God’s plan until we have the perspective of hindsight. I know from my own experience that what seemed so awful, so painful, so heartbreaking at the time, always resulted in growth, in maturity. I know that I wouldn’t be the person I am today without the times of challenge.

She couldn’t possibly know what I’ve been through, you’re thinking. I’ve experienced real evil, and she’s telling me that God promised plans without evil. Sounds contradictory at best—and a lie at worst.


… You’re right. I don’t know your life. I don’t know your pain. I don’t know what you’ve cried out for from the deepest part of your heart. This is what I do know: There is always a reason for pain. Really. And it’s not because God is trying to punish you. It’s not because He enjoys watching you suffer. It’s not that God is reaping evil upon you. It’s not. Really.

Let me assure you of one very important thing. God loves you. He loves you. He loves you so much that He was willing to die for you…

Be assured: God is with you through the valleys just as He is on the mountaintops. And what a joy it is to know He’ll use our pain to encourage others and—maybe—even grow His kingdom.

Strength in Weakness (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)

Today’s scripture: 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

So much has been questioned about Paul’s “thorn in the flesh.” Was it poor eyesight? Was it circumstances? Was it some other physical ailment? I don’t think it really matters exactly what Paul’s thorn was.

The important thing is that Paul had something that tormented him, something that he asked God to remove. Something that caused him so much pain—physical or emotional—that he implored God to take it away.

Implored means “to call upon in supplication or beseech; to call or pray for earnestly or entreat.” Paul wasn’t making a casual request. He earnestly pleaded for this thorn to be removed.

Sometimes I wonder if Paul’s “three times” really meant three “seasons.” I know I’ve gone through especially rough seasons with my health when I’ve certainly implored God to heal me. Yet other times, I just manage the pain with God’s strength. In any case, God had a different plan for Paul’s life … and for mine as well.

I’ve found my pain to be a blessing. Yes, a blessing. First, my pain—my weakness—truly is my strength because I’m so aware of God’s grace. More times than I can count, I’ve needed God’s strength just to get me out of bed. Second, God uses my pain to comfort others. Because I can sincerely relate to those who suffer from chronic health issues, I can encourage them by sharing how God has worked in and through my pain.

I would rather live in pain and be able to boast about Christ’s power in me than live pain-free because it truly in my weakness than I am strong.

Heavenly Clothing (2 Corinthians 5:1-5)

Today's scripture: 2 Corinthians 5:1-5

Living with chronic health issues isn’t fun. And those of us who deal with these kinds of issues would prefer not having to do so. Truly. If God were to completely heal me this moment, I’d be perfectly happy!

But—and I’m speaking only for myself—there are a few positives about ill health. Knowing I have little strength of my own, I’m much more dependent on God’s strength. I have the blessing of encouraging others who deal with chronic health issues.

And most of all, I long to be “clothed with [my] dwelling from heaven.” I groan here on earth as my earthly “tent” continues to fall apart. I’m burdened every day by my body’s lack of energy, limited capacity, and relentless pain. I look forward with great anticipation to that day when I can shed this earthly skin, when I will feel pain no longer.

So when I struggle to get out of bed and when I just don’t think I have the strength to go on, I remember the words of a great old hymn:

This world is not my home; I’m just passing through. My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue. The angels beckon me from heaven’s open door. And I can’t feel at home in this world any more. 

Comfort ... A Reason for Suffering (2 Corinthians 1:3-7)

Today's scripture: 2 Corinthians 1:3-7

I would give a lot to live without constant pain and fatigue. I would love to wake up one morning and feel well. It would be a pretty amazing thing …

But that doesn’t seem to be God’s plan. Oh, I’ve prayed for healing. Others have as well. And I believe with all my heart that God could take my pain away, but for reasons known only to Himself, He does not.

So, since He hasn’t healed my earthly pain, I’ve had to make a choice: wallow in the pain or see a greater purpose in it. And I choose the latter.

That’s why I love verses like today’s. There is a purpose in pain. For me, one purpose is that it keeps me focused on God. I know I can’t handle it on my own. Those mornings when I wake up and it’s all I can do to even get out of bed? I immediately ask the Lord for strength, just to get through that day. And He does.

The other purpose is that I’m able to comfort others who deal with health issues. I can offer a shoulder or a hug. I can give advice based on my own experience. I can pray with them and for them.

There’s nothing quite like having someone who’s experienced something similar to what you’re going through. While my wonderful husband loves me and wants to help me, he really doesn’t “get it.” And I’m glad he doesn’t because I wouldn’t want him to live with the pain I do.

So when I need a bit of comfort myself, I tend to gravitate to others who can empathize. To those who say—and mean it—“I know what you’re going through.” Not a pity party, mind you … just a feeling that I’m not on this journey alone.

Yes, I’d love to be pain-free. But since I’m not, I can feel blessed because I know God is using my pain.

It’s not just about physical pain. Whatever you’ve experienced—abuse, infertility, divorce, addiction—God can use that experience to help and comfort others. You can directly impact the lives of those who are on similar paths to your own.

And that’s one of the greatest blessings.

A Glorified Body ... (1 Corinthians 15:35-41)

Today's scripture: 1 Corinthians 15:35-41

I may be going way off-track of what Paul might have meant by heavenly and earthly bodies, but these verses remind me that this earthly body I inhabit now is temporary. One day, I’ll have a glorified body in which I’ll spend eternity.

This earthly body is frail. Weak. Flawed. It is in constant pain. It is chronically fatigued. It lacks energy. Yes, God gives it enough strength to do what He calls it to do, but I tire of it. Often.

So many days, I want to shed this earthly skin and take on a new body that is strong and pain-free. Days like today. My joints are stiff. My hips and knees throb. My muscles spasm.

It makes me long all the more for the day when I feel no pain and have energy in abundance to praise and serve God. One day, in the mansion He’s designed just for me, I’ll live—I’ll thrive—in that glorified body. That heavenly body.

And that day can’t come soon enough!

Rejoice! (Psalm 5:11-12)

Today's scripture: Psalm 5:11-12

First, I apologize to my early-morning readers ... This was one of those "difficult to get moving" mornings ...

I'm doing a study in the book of James with my small group, and we've been talking quite a bit about joy. It's been a good reminder that joy isn't dependent on our circumstances. We can find joy (the fruit of the Spirit joy) no matter what's going on because true joy is a state of the heart.

We can be joyful in the storm because we know Who is holding us. We can be joyful in the pain because we serve the Great Physician, Jehovah-Rapha. We can be joyful when everyone around us seems determined to steal our joy because we trust in the God who is our shield.

Life isn't always easy ... and yes, that's an understatement. However, we can still find joy in the confidence that our God wins the war. One day, we will be with Him in heaven where there will be no pain or tears. We will spend eternity in the arms of our Abba, our Daddy. We will rejoice and praise  Him forever.

We are abundantly blessed as followers of Christ. We are forgiven. We are given grace and mercy. We are loved beyond our comprehension. We are given strength to do as He wills.

Because we know the God of creation and have personal relationships with Him, we can, indeed, rejoice.

Take a moment to thank God for His blessings. Ask Him to help you find the joy regardless of the circumstance ... and then rejoice!

Cast Down and Disquieted (Psalm 43:5)

Today's scripture: Psalm 43:5

Well, yesterday was one of those "cast down" and "disquieted" days. A bad flare-up kept me flat on my back most of the day. I have to admit: I don't like those days very much. (Oh ... you can't read sarcasm, can you ...?)

To "add insult to injury," Saturday was a great day as I lead worship at a conference and was inspired by godly women. I had felt a renewed desire to spend more time with the Lord and strengthen my faith.

I guess I shouldn't be very surprised that yesterday ended up to be such a lousy day. It often seems like just when we who follow Christ reach a new level of faith, the enemy of our souls attacks. I know he's not omnipotent or omnipresent like our Lord is, but he has been given a certain amount of power, and I imagine he sends his demons out to cause havoc whenever possible.

So, maybe yesterday was an attack when I was feeling a spiritual high. Or maybe it was just a result of a more stressful week than usual.

In either case, I knew I had a choice to make. I could wallow in the pain ... or I could continue to trust God's care of me. I could find hope and peace and, yes, joy in the pain. I chose to trust Him.

I chose—and I choose—to put my faith in Him, knowing that He will help me through those not-so-good days. I choose to praise Him.

Even on days like yesterday.

Exceeding Joy (Psalm 43:3-4)

Today's scripture: Psalm 43:3-4

Yesterday's scripture felt a bit bleak. Words like "cast off" and "oppressed" don't fill my heart with warm fuzzies!

One of the things I love most about God's word is its frankness. Never does it promise that our lives will be filled with perfection. No. We're told time and time again that being in relationship with Christ doesn't mean a perfect life, but we are promised that He will help us through each and every storm.

So after yesterday's "downer," we read today's scripture, with words like "light" and "truth" and "exceeding joy."

We're never left in the mire. God's word always gives us hope.

We find truth that shines into our hearts. We learn that God the Father loves us so much that He sent God the Son to die for us. We learn that He forgives us and washes us clean. We learn that He offers a refuge through the storm.

Because of His amazing and abundant love, we can have hope. We can be exceedingly joyful.

And we can praise Him. O God, our God!