True Intimacy (1 Thessalonians 4:3-6)

Today’s scripture: 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6

I believe that God originally created man and woman (Genesis 1:27), and through them, provided the means for procreation: part of man and part of woman (Genesis 1:28). For reasons only He knows (and I'm not complaining!), that procreation comes naturally through sexual intercourse.

But I also believe that God, in His infinite wisdom, chose to make that act truly pleasurable, something that actually “cleaves” a husband and wife. Nothing is more intimate than sexually connecting with another person, and I believe God intends for sex to be between married people. It is beautiful in His sight for a husband and wife to give themselves to each other in this way (see 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 in The Message paraphrase).

Anything else goes against God’s original design.

Our bodies are temples housing the very Spirit of God. We must protect them and use them only in a way that pleases and glorifies God. And that includes making certain that we keep ourselves pure unless we are in a God-designed “leaving and cleaving” relationship—a covenant blessed by God (Genesis 2:24).

Exhortation to Married (and Single) Folks (1 Corinthians 7:1-7)

Today's scripture: 1 Corinthians 7:1-7

In these verses, Paul is clearly gives two messages. One is for married folks, and the other is for singles.

First, he addresses marriage. Marriage is a partnership, and each partner is to “fulfill his (or her) duty” to his (or her) spouse. Frankly, he’s talking about sex here. Each has “authority” over the other’s body, and to use sex as a weapon is wrong. In healthy marriages, each partner should be satisfied with the couple’s sex life. The couple should be in agreement about when, where, and how.

Then, encompassing this message to those married, he writes to the singles. His very first sentence of this chapter shows Paul’s heart: He really thinks that the celibate, single life is more conducive to serving God, and the last verse reiterates this thought. Paul was single, and he “wish[es] that all men were even as [he is].” Again, to be frank, in many ways, he’s right. A single person has more time (and energy) to serve God. He can spend more time in Bible study. He can volunteer more. He doesn’t have anyone competing for God’s attention.

But Paul is very aware that celibacy isn’t for everyone, so, if the possibility of immorality exists, then a man or woman must be married to meet his or her sexual drive.

Paul doesn’t give a middle ground: If you want sex, get married. If you’re going to stay single, don’t have sex.

Simple, isn’t it?

Sex in Marriage (1 Cor. 7:1-7)

But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But this I say by way of concession, not of command. Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.
(1 Corinthians 7:1-7, NASB)

In these verses, Paul is clearly gives two messages. One is for married folks, and the other is for singles.

Marriage is a partnership, and each partner is to “fulfill his (or her) duty” to his (or her) spouse. And frankly, he’s talking about sex here. Each has “authority” over the other’s body, and to use sex as a weapon is wrong. In healthy marriages, each partner should be satisfied with the couple’s sex life. The couple should be in agreement about when, where, and how.

Then, bookending this message to those married, he writes to the singles. His very first verse of this chapter shows Paul’s heart: He really thinks that the celibate, single life is more conducive to serving God. And the last verse reiterates this thought. Paul was single, and he “wish[ed] that all men were even as [he was].” Again, to be frank, in many ways, he’s right. A single person has more time (and energy) to serve God. He can spend more time in Bible study. He can volunteer more. He doesn’t have anyone competing for God’s attention.

But Paul is very aware that celibacy isn’t for everyone. And so, if the possibility of immorality exists, then a man or woman must be married to meet his or her sexual drive.

Paul doesn’t give a middle ground: If you want sex, get married. If you’re going to stay single, don’t have sex.

Simple, isn’t it?

Sex In Its Proper Place (1 Cor. 6:15-16)

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be! Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, “THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.”
(1 Corinthians 6:15-16, NASB)

I believe one of the saddest commentaries of this present age is the ease with which people treat sex. What God created as an intimate experience to be contained within the confines of marriage has become a commodity, a throw-away.

One night stands. Multiple partners. “Friends with benefits.”

It just breaks my heart.

Sex is more than just an act of pleasure or release. Two people, when they engage in sex—which includes oral sex, by the way—become, as the Bible says, “one flesh.” They exchange bodily fluids, and part of each becomes part of the other.

But it’s more than just physical. Sex, as its very best, brings an emotional bond that should be unbreakable. One definition of "intimate" is “belonging to or characterizing one's deepest nature.” Being sexually intimate with someone should mean becoming “one flesh”: body, soul, and mind.

And yet, even in the Christian community, people seem to think it’s okay to have sex outside of marriage. It’s “old-fashioned” to remain a virgin until marriage, they say. Now, to be honest, I wasn’t a virgin when I was married, and I’d had one other partner besides my husband. But it was during a very lengthy rebellion against my God, and at least I acknowledged that did was sinful. I just did it anyway.

Today, however, it seems like young Christians don’t even think it’s wrong. They’ve bought into the world’s lies that sex is just one more thing to do.

And it’s not. Not in the way God intended, at least.

We need to return to God’s original plan. We need to “leave and cleave” in marriage, and treat sex with the dignity and intimacy that God intended.

Abstain from Sexual Immorality (1 Thess. 4:3-6)

For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you.
(1 Thessalonians 4:3-6, NASB)

I believe that God originally created man and woman (Gen. 1:27), and through them, provided the means for procreation: part of man and part of woman (Gen. 1:28). For reasons only He knows, that procreation comes naturally through sexual intercourse. And if it can't happen naturally, for whatever reason, it still takes part of man and part of woman.

But I also believe that God, in His infinite wisdom, chose to make that act pleasurable, something that actually “cleaves” a husband and wife. Nothing is more intimate than sexually connecting with another person, and I believe God intends for sex to be between married people. It is beautiful in His sight for a husband and wife to give themselves to each other in this way (see 1 Cor. 7:3-5 in The Message paraphrase).

Anything else goes against God’s original design.

Our bodies are temples housing the very Spirit of God. We must protect them and use them only in ways that please and glorify God. And that includes making certain we keep ourselves pure either through abstinence if we're single or being in a God-designed “leave and cleave” relationship—a covenant blessed by God (Gen. 2:24).