My Rock. My Strength. My Refuge.

How often do you wake up and you just don't think you can do it? You just can't make it through another day?

I do. More often than I'd like to say.

I have many mornings when I really, truly want to pull the covers back over my head and hibernate. And it seems those mornings come more and more frequently these days. Sometimes it's because of pain. Sometimes it's because of fatigue. And sometimes, to be honest, it's just because . . .

I remember during my twenty-year rebellion from the Lord, when I had those days (which were a lot less frequent than they are now), I'd fall into a depression. Or sometimes I'd just get mad. Some days, I felt hopeless, without purpose. I look back at those days with a great deal of sadness because I was just lost . . .

Now, when I have those days, like I did last week. I do have hope. And I have even more hope when God includes passages like Psalm 62:5-8 in my daily quiet time.

Look at these words. Really look at them.

Psalm 62
5 My soul, wait silently for God alone,
For my expectation from Him.
6 He only is my rock and my salvation;
He is my defense;I shall not be moved.
7 In God is my salvation and my glory;
The rock of my strength, And my refuge is in God.
8 Trust in Him at all times, you people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us

Aren't they great? I know my God is with me. He truly is my rock, my strength, my refuge . . . .

And He's yours, too.

Love is Patient

Over the last several months, my church has been challenging us to memorize scripture. We've memorized the names of the books of the Bible. We've memorized the Beatitudes. This month, we're memorizing the Lord's Prayer.

Last month, it was 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a. You know, love is patient, love is kind . . . Even many non-believers know these verses. I've known them for a long time, but having to really memorize them word-for-word made me think about them more deeply.

I don't think it's an accident that the first definition of love is "patient." I think it's a characteristic of love that's hard for many of us, especially with those with whom we're closest.

Don't we tend to take the ones we love the most for granted? Somehow, it seems since they'll always be there, we don't have to have the patience with them that we do with others. I know I'm guilty of that.

It seems like Russ can push my buttons faster than anyone else in the world, and I can sometimes be short-tempered with him. Those little annoyances that I might just brush off with someone else can sometimes push me over the edge.

I don't want to be that way . . . but sometimes I am.

Do you find yourself doing the same thing? Being impatient with your greatest earthly loves?

Remember that the first on the list is "love is patient" . . . and I'll try to remember too!

Giving Up Control

Whoa . . . just typing the title of this entry kind of made my stomach clench. I like control. I like knowing that I'm in charge of my life . . .

OK. Now I have to laugh because I'm realizing more and more how little control I really have.

I've written previously that I suffer from some chronic health problems, and I've been feeling pretty miserable the last several weeks. I have no control there.

Despite my ongoing prayers and daily attempts to live a Christ-like life, my husband doesn't seem to be closer to a relationship with the Lord. I have no control there.

Even though I try to "promote" my ministry as much as possible, it's growing more slowly than I'd hoped. I have no control there.

Hmmmm. A pattern perhaps?

Guess what? I don't HAVE control. My future, my health, my calling . . . my life . . . everything is in God's control. Now, I can try to snatch control back and try to do things my own way. But you know something? He does things so much better than I can!

When I trust Him, when I wait for His timing, when I walk through doors He's opened, when I let go of my CONTROL (!), I can rest confidently that everything will work out for my ultimate good, just like Paul says in Romans 8:28.

And you know something else? There's a freedom that comes from giving up control. Wow . . . what a concept!

Our Faithful God

I've been thinking a lot about God's overwhelming faithfulness. Over the last several months, I've been studying some of the prophets in the Old Testament, and it's clear that God has had a plan all along, and He is faithful to that plan.

I look back over my own life, and I see that same faithfulness.

Today, I came across a verse that affirmed this truth yet again. Psalm 33:4 says, "For the word of the Lord is upright, and all His work is done in faithfulness."

As I read His word and meditate on His promises, I know that He has been and is and always will be faithful to His children. I can trust Him and His word.

If the trials of your day seem to be overpowering you, remember that the Omnipotent One, the All-powerful God, is faithfully leading and guiding you. Seek His hand. Seek His plan. And see His faithfulness.

God's Ways are Good

I love how God uses things we've read or seen dozens of times to affirm once again . . .

This morning, I was reading Genesis 50, and I came across a verse I've read many times. In fact, I've referred to it often when I speak or write. After Jacob died, Joseph's brothers were fearful that he'd finally take revenge on them. But he, with a sincere and loving heart--and with trust in his God--was able to say, ". . . you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good." (verse 20, NKJV)

Over the last week or so, I've heard so many stories of pain being experienced by people I know and love. Loved ones dying. Cancer invading. Finances strangling. Marriages crumbling. Health declining. Children rebelling.

These are happening to people who love and trust God.

Sometimes it gets overwhelming. Really overwhelming.

But then I read this familiar verse, and I'm reminded that God's plan is higher than my own, and even when man or the enemy of this world attempts to cause evil, God will use it for His good. He's certainly done so in my life.

I don't know where you are and what you're experiencing right now. But remember that our sovereign God is greater and more powerful than anything. And He loves you.

Coming Forth as Gold

A new year is, for many of us, a time to resolve to change or to grow. In my last posting, rather than resolving to do anything new or different, I reflected on how God blessed me in 2007.

Today, I spent some time reflecting on some of the things that, at the time, didn’t seem much like blessings. Job is one of those people in the Bible with whom I often resonate. While I haven’t experienced a fraction of the suffering he did, I do relate with his cries to God. But even when he didn’t “get” what God was doing or why, he was able to trust that God was totally and lovingly in control. And he knew that the end result would be worth the suffering. Job wrote, “But He knows the way I take; When He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold.” (23:10, NASB)

You’re probably aware that the refining process of gold requires heat—and lots of it. If gold could feel, it would probably find the process quite painful.

If I desire to come forth as gold, I should expect pain. When I think of my daily physical pain this way and, more importantly, when I look at how God has used my pain this past year, I can sincerely thank Him for that pain.

Seriously.

My inability to handle my daily pain on my own has made me lean on Jesus. When I speak, I say that I frequently have to ask for God’s strength to get me through the day. I literally lift my hand and say, “Jesus, would You hold my hand just a little more tightly today.” I say those words, and I see heads nod. How God works through my pain encourages others.

And maybe, just maybe, I’m coming forth as gold. Still tarnished, but gold all the same.

2008?!

I know everyone says it, but time really is flying . . . how can it already be five days from the beginning of a new year?

Well, whether I want to believe it or not, another year looms around the corner, and as I do every year, I reflect on 2007:

• Russ and I enjoyed a vacation in Hawaii!
• My second great-nephew, Joseph Thomas, joined our family in August.
• My mom and step-dad have been in town since early November, so I've been able to spend a lot of time with them.
• My job continues to give me opportunities to work with ministries.
• God continues to open doors to speak, and He keeps affirming His ministry.
• He gave me an unexpected gift: the recording of my CD.
• He also continues to bless through the ups and downs of my health journey.

It's been a year of blessings and trials, difficulties and joy. Yet through it all, God continues to be faithful.

May this coming year bring you blessings and joy. And may you always remember His faithfulness.

A Bittersweet Season

That may not be the expected title of an entry posted on December 3. You're used to seeing words like joy and peace and grace, and indeed these words come to mind as I look forward to Christmas. I really do love this season, and yes, my house is completely decorated . . . as is my desk at work. I'm a sucker for all the fun and festivities and lights and music.

But this is also a bittersweet season.

I think of this culture we live in and how the true meaning of Christmas has been diluted to the point that we have an entire generation that doesn't know that we celebrate Jesus' birth. So many buy the gifts and decorate the tree and hang the lights, but they haven't received the greatest gift of all: God's grace and forgiveness.

And for those of us who have friends and family who haven't received that gift, there's a mixture of sadness with the joy.

I pray this season, as I have in years past, that those who are nearest and dearest to us will, this Christmas, come to know the Christ of Christmas. Won't you join me in prayer?

Still Thankful

In my last entry, I shared some things for which I'm grateful.

On this day before Thanksgiving, I want to continue the theme, but from a slightly different angle.

I'm blessed to work at a Christian organization, and each Wednesday, we have a company-wide chapel time, complete with worship and a devotional. This morning, our president spoke about thankfulness, and he said the Bible mentions four "dimensions of thankfulness":

• A Heart of Thanksgiving
• A Voice of Thanksgiving
• A Song of Thanksgiving
• A Sacrifice of Thanksgiving

This last one really touched my heart. I'm studying the book of Malachi right now, and I read in this morning's study that the Israelites made a vow to offer unblemished sacrifices. I had to ask myself if I give "unblemished sacrifices"? Do I give my firstfruits to God in all areas of my life?

And then this idea of a sacrifice of Thanksgiving . . .

Do I thank God before I do anything else? Do I praise and thank Him in good times and in bad? Is my first prayer one of gratitude?

Sometimes, maybe, but certainly not constant, as it should be.

So, now, this day before Thanksgiving, I choose to offer "unblemished sacrifices" and give my firstfruit of gratitude. And I pray this will be my heart every day.

Have a blessed and THANKFUL holiday!!

With a Grateful Heart

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. One of the main reasons is that there's no real hype surrounding it (of course, that also means that it seems to be somewhat overlooked). It's just a time to reflect on what God has done for us, and every year, I try to do just that.

James 1:17 tells us that every good and perfect gift comes from our Lord. I really believe He delights in blessing us. I picture His smiling when we find pleasure in His gifts.

But I'm often convicted that I just don't thank Him enough . . . although I realize that because of His grace and mercy, I can NEVER thank Him enough.

So as I look to this upcoming holiday, I want to thank my Lord:

• For being my Lord and Savior - You saw worth in this unworthy girl.
• For Russ, my dear, supportive husband - He has allowed me to follow God's call on my heart.
• For family - They may be far away in body, but are always as close as a prayer.
• For friends - Through tears and laughter, they continue to bless my heart.
• For ECCU - I realize how blessed I am to work for a Christian organization.
• For Triple-E Ministries - The privilege of seeing God work in the women to whom I speak is humbling.

There's so much to be grateful for. Yes, I have areas I struggle with. No, my life isn't perfect. But I am blessed . . . and so grateful.

If you haven't lately, take a moment to thank God for His blessings.

And Happy Thanksgiving!

Girlfriends!

God did an amazing thing when He created girlfriends!! There's nothing quite like them!!

I am so very blessed! God has given me such wonderful girlfriends, and I'm just so grateful. This week, I've had a chance to talk with or get together with some of my very favorites, each of whom impacts my life in a unique way.

There's my prayer warrior friend who, when she says she's praying, I KNOW she's praying!

There's my "life is meant to be fun, even when it doesn't seem to be" friend with whom I share all the ins and outs of my life, and we laugh together.

There's my "I know exactly how you're feeling" friend, who's on a similar journey.

There's my "you can do it" friend, who encourages me to be more than I think I can be.

I honestly don't know what I'd do without these women of faith. Their very presence in my life is tangible evidence of God's love and faithfulness to me.

Girlfriends? If I don't tell you enough, I love each of you and I'm grateful for you.

If you have some special girlfriends that have blessed you, don't forget to tell them!!

It's Hard to be Humble

There used to be a saying, "It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am." It was usually said tongue-in-cheek, but every time I heard someone say it, I saw a glimmer of truth.

Humility is hard, but not because we're so great. Something in our sin-filled nature likes to make us think that we're better than we are. We're smarter than others, prettier than others, more talented than others. And sometimes that might be true. But it's more often not.

A friend of mine at work forwarded a "thought for the day" about humility, and it captured my heart. The verse was 1 Peter 5:6, "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you in due time."

The unnamed author of the thought wrote that "we often worry about our position and status, hoping we'll get proper recognition for what we do." Isn't that the truth? We somehow think if we receive the praise of man (or woman), we'll please God more.

True humility means that we're willing to do anything for anyone at any time in order to bring glory to God. We'll clean toilets or speak on platforms. It doesn't matter what as long as we're doing God's will to His glory.

I want to be that humble. I want to be willing to do whatever He asks. I pray that I might be that humble. How about you?

Another Precious Boy

Bright blue eyes. Rosy cheeks. A little frown. A sweet little cry. A smile that takes my breath away.

My sweet little great-nephew, Joey.

Just over two years ago, I saw the same eyes, cheeks, frown, smile, but that was from Joey's big brother, CJ.

This weekend, I was with Joey, my eldest niece's second son.

If you've read previous blogs, you know that I don't have any children of my own, but God has blessed me so much with my nieces and nephews. They are all really good people whom I believe God will use to do amazing things.

And two of those amazing things are those precious great-nephews of mine.

I can't tell you how it feels to love those little guys. It's wonderful to watch them grow and change (even if it's only in pictures).

Can I say a word of encouragement to you who don't have children? Find a child to love. Maybe you have nieces and nephews of your own? Or you can help in your children's ministry?

Just find a way to see bright eyes and rosy cheeks and heartwarming smiles.

He Knows Our Needs

I have a little "blessing box" on my desk, and as I thumbed through the verses, I came across Matthew 6:8. The Kings James Bible says, "Your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask Him."

Now, I don't usually read the King James Bible (although I do like the New King James Version), but every once in a while, I like to read the poetry that comes from the old language. My Father knoweth my needs . . . I like how that flows.

But no matter what the version, this verse is a wonderful reminder that God knows my needs. I don't even have to ask Him; He just knows them.

There's something that catches my heart in this verse, though. This verse speaks to needs, not wants. My husband reminds me that we only need air, food, water, and shelter. Everything else is icing.

But isn't it great that God wants to provide for our needs, but He also wants to give us blessings beyond needs? Matthew 7:7-12 speaks of our being able to ask God for anything (remembering that we need to ask within His will), and He will provide, and verse 12 reminds us that our "Father in heaven [will] give good things to those who ask Him!"

What a wonderful thing to know that we are His children. We are His beloved sons and daughters! And like a loving Father, He'll take care of our needs and bless us beyond our expectations!!

God's "Balance Sheet"

I'm preparing to speak at a retreat in October, and our theme is "A Future and a Hope." We'll be focusing on one of my favorite topics: God's perfect plan.

I've been in a bit of a valley lately (past entries touch on this), and it's been God's perfect timing that I'm revisiting His promise for a future and a hope. And I want to take a moment to encourage you, if you, too, are in a valley.

I know you're familiar with Romans 8:28, and you may be asking how what you're going through can possibly work together for good.

Not long ago, a speaker at chapel time at work (yes, I work at a credit union where we have chapel time!) spoke about "God's balance sheet." The concept is that when we're in a dark time, we can look back at what God has done. And we usually find that His balance sheet is weighted firmly in His favor.

Try this: Look back over your life (I call this the gift of hindsight), and see how God has protected you or provide for you or blessed you. Look at those times when it could only have been His hand guiding you. Remember how faithful He's been.

That's what I've been doing lately. Although this moment in time seems so hard, I look back at my life's journey, and I see so clearly how He's worked in my life.

He really is faithful. Everything that's happened in my life is part of His master plan--His loving plan. And His balance sheet is fully in the black.

Peace-Not as the World Gives

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you;
not as the world gives do I give to you.
Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

John 14:27

The world offers peace—on its terms.

Watch television or read the latest magazine. The world would tell you that peace comes from driving the best car or wearing the trendiest clothes. Peace comes from having a great sex life or a lucrative career. Peace comes from fame or fortune.

That’s what the world would tell you. But the world would be wrong.

I tried for years to find the world’s peace. I was college-educated, happily married, well-employed. We owned our home, our cars, our stuff. We enjoyed our vacations and partied with friends.

I had it all, or so the world would say. But I had nothing, really. I was miserable.

It wasn’t until I recommitted my life to the Lord that I realized that Jesus was right: He gives a peace that the world can’t begin to compete with. His peace is all-encompassing, and it saturates down to your very soul. It’s a peace that illuminates the peace of the world for what it really is: shallow, empty, sad.

Have you bought into the world’s definition of peace? And do you feel a hole in your heart and soul? Talk to Jesus now about His peace. Have confidence that you don’t have to be troubled; He will give you peace.

Hope through Adversity

But I will hope continually,
And will praise You yet more and more.
Psalm 71:14

Many of the psalms are written as cries from the heart.

In the verses that precede this, the psalmist was crying out for help from God. His enemies were at his back, looking to hurt him. But even in the midst of his fear, he could still hope in God. And not only could he hope in God, but he could also praise Him.

It's one thing to have hope in difficult times. Even when things seem at their worst, we can always have hope that God will get us through, that He will provide protection, that He will be the ultimate victor.

It's an entirely different thing to praise God in the most difficult times.

Have you ever thought about praising God even when the enemies are chasing after you? Have you raised your voice in praise when you're hurting and tired and confused?

It's not always easy, but it can make even the hardest times more bearable. When we're praising God, when we're worshipping Him for the awesome God that he is, sometimes the burdens are lighter, the pain is less severs, and the struggles are easier to handle.

Have hope in God at all times, but more importantly, praise Him . . . at all times.

Living Joyfully

The Bible tells us that God desires that His children experience joy. The book of Psalms is full of passages that speak of God’s heart for His children’s joy. Psalm 16:11 tells us that:

You [God] will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
(emphasis mine)

We who know God experience the greatest joy possible because we are able to stand in the presence of God Himself, and as the psalmist wrote, in His “presence is fullness of joy.” Our hearts can’t be truly joyful apart from God.

I often think of God watching over His children and beaming when He sees us experiencing joy. Just as I believe that God’s heart breaks when He sees us in pain, I believe that His heart fills with joy at our joy. I liken it to a parent or grandparent that has given a special gift to a child who is dearly loved. The joy seen in a child’s face is pure and unencumbered, and that joy often creates joy. Think about it: At Christmas, what is one of the most common pictures we see? A bright-eyed, rosy-cheeked child gazing at a decorated tree or at a favorite gift, joy radiating from her face.

I don’t have children of my own, but I have witnessed my many nieces and nephews experience the joy of receiving a wished-for gift, and the joy I’ve seen on their faces is priceless. My heart fills with their joy. I believe that’s what God feels when He sees our joy.

Jesus Promises Peace

These things I have spoken to you,
that in Me you may have peace.
In the world you will have tribulation;
but be of good cheer,
I have overcome the world.
John 16:33

There was a time when I really thought the enemy was winning the battle—not just the battle, but the war.

Nothing was going right. My husband and I were trying to have a baby, and nothing. We’d gone to a fertility specialist, and we’d been told that nothing was clinically wrong with either of us. We just had to keep trying. And try we did.

But still nothing.

During this several-year journey, I’d recommitted my life to Jesus, and I knew He was on my side of the battle. I believed that our side would win.

But still nothing.

I was finally diagnosed with likely infertility (that so-called specialist hadn’t dug deeply enough), and the battle changed: I wasn’t fighting to get pregnant, I was fighting for peace.

And that’s when I really felt Jesus on my side. I knew that He promised peace in the midst of tribulation. And I finally remembered that last part of John 16:33. I could be of good cheer because Jesus really has overcome the world.

What battles are you fighting? Are you fighting them alone? Or have you asked Jesus to join you in the battle? More importantly, have you asked Him to give you peace no matter what the outcome? Talk to Him now. Ask Him to reassure you that He really is the victor.

A Reason for Hope

I've been in a study of Hosea with a group of ladies at work, and I love the reminders of how faithful God is in spite of our failings.

This week's study ended with a verse that I want to commit to memory:

But sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence. (1 Peter 3:15)

The hope I have in me . . .

Where does my hope come from? It comes from the confidence I have that the Lord God is working in me and through me. It comes from the confidence I have that I'm saved from my sins. It comes from the confidence I have that Jesus walks alongside me every day. And it comes from the confidence I have that one day I'll be in heaven with my Lord.

It's been said that if someone gave you a cure for cancer, wouldn't you share it with everyone you know? How much more should we share the good news of salvation and eternity with Christ?

We do, indeed, have a reason for our hope: Our hope is in our Lord.